Duo and the Beast
by Bishoujo Lil
Summary: A Gundam Wing and Beauty and the Beast crossover. Is 6X2, just to be different! A humorous GW take on the Disney story! Enjoy!
1. Prologue

I was recently watching Beauty and the Beast, as you do when your home from Uni over Christmas break.  Well, I am currently obsessed with Gundam Wing, I'm just crazed with it, and I got to thinking how Duo would make an excellent 'Belle'.  Then of course, the massive mallet of fandom hit me in the face and I just had to write the fic.  Yes a Gundam Wing, Beauty and the Beast crossover, with your fave characters from Gundam Wing taking the central roles.  Your characters will be as thus, the letters in brackets is so you know who's singing, when the singing does occur:

Belle – Duo Maxwell (DM)

Beast – Zechs Marquise/Milliardo Peacecraft (ZM)

Cogsworth – Chang Wufei (CW)

Lumiere – Trowa Barton (TB)

Mrs Potts – Sally Po (SP)

French Maid feather duster thing – Quatre Raberba Winner (QW)

Chip – Treize Kushrenada (yes I know that'll be weird) (TK)

Gaston – Heero Yuy (HY)

LeFou – Relena Peacecraft (RP)

Maurice – Professor G (PG)

Wardrobe – Lucrezia Noin (LN)

Extras will be fairly self explanatory when the singing starts.

I think that's everyone.  I will be changing the general dispositions of the Disney characters to fit in with the Gundam Wing characters, but I'll do my best not to make it seem daft.  I will also be making the story a little bit more humorous, as I can't seem to help it.

Contrary to popular thought, I decided to make Zechs the Beast, not Heero, as I had hysterics at the thought of Heero as Gaston, so I had to do it ^___^  As such, this will be 6X2, and therefore yaoi orientated, if you don't like that, then don't read.  Any flames will be used in my ultimate weapon of destruction and used on the flamers.  Do you really want that?

All right then, the disclaimer.  Who shall we have do it?  Ah yes the main character, Duo waves vigorously at Duo, who wanders over

Me: do the disclaimer.

Duo: Lucas does not own Disney or Gundam Wing.  If you sue, she will use the ultimate weapon of destruction on you, mentioned earlier in regards to the destruction of flamers.  Besides, she has no money; we're doing this for sexual favours.

Me: grins like maniac Yes, they wore me down grins some more on with my twisted story.

**Prologue:**

A long time ago, in a land far away (which turns out to be France, but lets not get into that) there was a beautiful castle.  Inside the castle (duh) lived a noble prince; we'll call him Milliardo Peacecraft.  Despite having everything he could wish for, the prince was spoiled (again I say duh), selfish and unkind.  Then one stormy, and what turned out to be fateful, night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered Milliardo a single rose, in return for shelter from the bitter cold.  Milliardo was so gorgeous… mmmm…*cough* anyway…. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, Milliardo sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away.  But she warned him, not to be fooled by appearances, for beauty was found within.  At this, Milliardo asked her if she's ever looked in a mirror.  He turned her away again.  At this the old woman melted away, revealing a beautiful enchantress, named Lady Une.  Milliardo tried to apologise… and get a date… but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell upon the castle and all who lived there.  She seemed to think a good punishment would be turning them into appliances of various sorts… which is weird... but hey, she's powerful; no one thought to question her.  Repulsed by his monstrous form, the Beast, now we'll call him Zechs Marquise, locked himself away inside the castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world.  The rose that Lady Une had offered him, was truly an enchanted rose and would bloom until is 21st year.  If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return before the last petal fell, the spell would be broken.  If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast forever.  This was particular vexing to Zechs as he had been quite a looker.  As the years passed by the castle fell into despair and Zechs lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a Beast?


	2. The Beginning

All right, here's the second part, it's much longer than the first, which was pathetically short.

For the disclaimer we have our other main character, Zechs, in his non-beast form.

Me: Zechs, get over here and do the disclaimer!

Zechs: is looking in a mirror What?

Me: The disclaimer, pretty boy, do it.

Zechs: Yes, I am pretty.  Lucas does not own Gundam Wing, or Disney.  Do not sue, she's poor, I checked.

This is a 6X2 story, this means it's yaoi, if you don't like that, then don't read it, it's simple.  Flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction, and the used on flamers! 

I would like to thank the people who reviewed:

Karina

Suki issunsakihayami

PATTY 40

Thanks v much, your reviews were much appreciated, have a cookie! hands out cookies

**The Beginning.**

Duo grabbed his bag and shut the door behind him as he left his small house.  He wandered over the small bridge and brushed some stray hair back into his dark bangs.
    
    [Duo:]        Little town
    
                    It's a quiet village
    
                    Ev'ry day
    
                    Like the one before
    
                    Little town
    
                    Full of little people
    
                    Waking up to say:
    
    [Townsfolk:]    Bonjour!
    
                    Bonjour!
    
                    Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!
    
    [Duo:]          There goes the baker with his tray, like always
    
                    The same old bread and rolls to sell
    
                    Ev'ry morning just the same
    
                    Since the morning that we came
    
                    To this poor provincial town
    
    [Baker:]        Good Morning, Duo!
    
    [Duo:]          'Morning, Monsieur.
    
    [Baker:]        Where are you off to?
    
    [Duo:]          The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful     story about a beanstalk and an ogre and a -
    
    [Baker:]        That's nice. Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up! Duo shrugs and walks on
    
    [Townsfolk:]    Look there he goes that boy is strange, no question
    
                    Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
    
                    Never part of any crowd
    
                    'Cause his head's up on some cloud
    
                    No denying he's a funny boy that guy
    
    [Man I:]        Bonjour drives by
    
    [Woman I:]      Good day
    
    [Man I:]        How is your fam'ly? drives on
    
    [Woman II:]     Bonjour 
    
    [Man II:]       Good day letches over her obvious ***ahem*** assets
    
    [Woman II:]     How is your wife? he gets smacked over the head with a rolling pin by a man-ish woman
    
    [Woman III:]    I need six eggs struggles to control six small children
    
    [Man III:]      That's too expensive
    
    [Duo:]        There must be more than this provincial life
    
    [Bookseller:]   Ah, Duo.
    
    [Duo:]          Good Morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed. Hands him book
    
    [Bookseller:]   Finished already?
    
    [Duo:]         Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?
    
    [Bookseller:]   Ha Ha! Not since yesterday.
    
    [Duo:]               That's all right. I'll borrow scans shelves. . . . . this one! hands it to him
    
    [Bookseller:]   That one? But you've read it twice!
    
    [Duo:]        Well, it's my favourite! spins around the room Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise -
    
    [Bookseller:]   If you like it all that much, it's yours!
    
    [Duo:]        But sir!
    
    [Bookseller:]   I insist. leads him out of shop where several men are staring through the window 
    
    [Duo:]        men assume nonchalant stances as Duo walks by Well, thank you. Thank you very much!
    
    [Townsfolk:]    Look there he goes that boy is so peculiar
    
                    I wonder if he's feeling well
    
                    With a dreamy far-off look
    
                    And his nose stuck in a book
    
                    What a puzzle to the rest of us is he
    
    [Duo:]        Oh, isn't this amazing? shows book to some passing sheep
    
                    It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
    
                    Here's where she meets Prince Charming sheep eats corner of page, Duo pulls book away
    
                    But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three Sheppard comes by and moves sheep along
    
    [Woman:]        Now it's no wonder that they call him "beauty" is trying on different hats
    
                    His looks have got no parallel
    
    [Shopkeeper:]   But behind that fair facade
    
                    I'm afraid he's rather odd
    
                    Very diff'rent from the rest of us
    
    [Townsfolk:]    He's nothing like the rest of us
    
                    Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is he
    
    [Relena:]        Heero shoots bird and Relena attempts to catch it in a bag, she fails Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Heero! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
    
    [Heero:]       I know.
    
    [Relena:]        No beast alive stands a chance against you. Ha ha ha! And no girl or boy, for that matter.
    
    [Heero:]       It's true, Relena. And I've got my sights set on that one. points at Duo
    
    [Relena:]        Hm! The Professor's protégé?
    
    [Heero:]       He's the one - the lucky boy I'm going to marry.
    
    [Relena:]        But he's - 
    
    [Heero:]       The most beautiful person in town.
    
    [Relena:]        I know, but - Heero throws his gun in her face
    
    [Heero:]       That makes him the best. And don't I deserve the best? Grabs her by the front of her shirt and shakes her
    
    [Relena:]        Well, of course! I mean you do, but -Heero drops her
    
    [Heero:]       Right from the moment when I met him, saw him
    
                    I said he's gorgeous and I fell
    
                    Here in town there's only he
    
                    Who is beautiful as me is looking in mirror at self as Duo passes by.  Relena pokes him a couple of times
    
                    So I'm making plans to woo and marry him glances around looking for Duo.  He walks past three girls
    
    [Bimbettes:]    Look there he goes
    
                    Isn't he dreamy?
    
                    Monsieur Heero
    
                    Oh he's so cute Relena, who is following Heero, gets knocked out of the way by the girls' gesticulating arms
    
                    Be still my heart
    
                    I'm hardly breathing
    
                    He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute girls fall about
    
    [Man I:]        Bonjour! 
    
    [Gaston:]       Pardon
    
    [Man II:]       Good day 
    
    [Man III:]      Mais oui!
    
    [Matron:]       You call this bacon? 
    
    [Woman I:]      What lovely grapes!
    
    [Man IV:]       Some cheese 
    
    [Woman II:]     Ten yards
    
    [Man IV:]       one pound
    
    [Heero:]       'scuse me!
    
    [Cheese merchant:] I'll get the knife 
    
    [Heero:]       Please let me through!
    
    [Woman I:]      This bread - 
    
    [Man V:]        Those fish -
    
    [Woman I:]      it's stale! 
    
    [Man V:]        they smell!
    
    [Baker:]        Madame's mistaken.
    
    [Duo:]        There must be more than this provincial life!
    
    [Heero:]       Just watch, I'm going to make Duo my wife! gets cut off by crowd
    
    [Townsfolk:]    Look there he goes boy who's strange but special the crowd are following Duo as he walks forward
    
                    A most peculiar boy on show
    
                    It's a pity and a sin
    
                    He doesn't quite fit in
    
                    'Cause he really is a funny boy
    
                    A beauty but a funny boy
    
                    He really is a funny boy
    
                    That Duo Duo looks suspiciously up from his book and turns around.  The crowd goes back to normal routine and he shrugs and carries on walking

Duo was engrossed in his book when someone stepped in front of him.  He looked up and saw Heero staring down at him, not smiling, with the ever-present Relena by his side.  Duo rolled his eyes.

"Hello Duo," Heero said, barring Duo's way.

"Bonjour Heero," Duo said amicably as he returned his attention to the book and moved around him.  Heero grabbed the book as Duo passed by him, and, being taller, held it out of his reach.

Duo ground his teeth together before turning to Heero and smiling, "Heero, may I have my book please?"

"How can you read this?  There's no pictures," Heero exclaimed as he flicked through the book.  Duo rolled his eyes again.

"What a huge and unending surprise, you can't read," he muttered to himself.  Heero glanced at him suspiciously and he sighed.

"Well some people use their imagination," Duo said as he made a grab for the book and missed.

"Look, it's time you got your head out of those books and started paying attention to more important things, like me," Heero said with a small smile.  He threw the book into a nearby puddle.  The three girls who had been sighing over Heero earlier collapsed with barely controlled lust as Heero said this.  Duo gave Heero the finger when he wasn't looking and knelt down by the puddle to retrieve his book.

"It's not right for a woman to read," Heero said as Duo stood up with the now dripping book.

"Woman?" Duo asked confused.  He glanced down at his body as though checking for injuries, "Last time I checked Yuy, I was a bloke."

Heero scratched his neck uncomfortably, "All right then, a beauty like you shouldn't be reading," he corrected.  Duo muttered 'nonce' under his breath.

"Soon you'll be getting ideas and thinking…" Heero continued as he made random gestures with his hands.

"I'm the protégé of a Professor, I believe thinking is one of the minimum requirements of learning," Duo explained in an exaggeratedly slow voice.

"Hn," Heero replied.  Duo stared at him in disbelief.

"Heero, you are positively the biggest ponce I've ever met," Duo retorted as he cleaned the book with his shirt.

"Hn," Heero stated, "What do you say we take a walk over to my tavern and take a look at some of my trophies."  He slung an arm around Duo's shoulder and started to steer him away.

"Maybe some other time," Duo said as he struggled to get away.

"What's wrong with him?" One bimbo asked.

"He's crazy!" Another stated.

"Heero's gorgeous!" The third said, clasping her hands together.

"Really Heero," Duo said as he spun out of his grasp, "I have to get home and help the Professor."

"That crazy crank?" Relena asked, finally piping up, "He needs all the help he can get."  At this Relena started laughing, as did Heero.

"Don't talk about my Professor that way," Duo hissed.

"Yeah, don't talk about his Professor that way," Heero said quickly, smacking Relena around the head.

"He may well be insane and a little nasty, but he's a genius," Duo stated.  In the background a massive explosion could be heard.  Duo cringed and then ran towards his house, where smoke was billowing out of the open windows.  Relena and Heero both began to laugh.  Heero slapped her hard on the back in his laughter and sent her flying face first into the floor.

Duo pushed open the door and choked on the thick smoke.

"Professor?" he called as he squinted around the room.

"God damn it!" a voice yelled.  Duo located the source and saw his professor with a barrel over his head.  Duo suppressed a chuckle and went over to help the old man.  He pulled the barrel of the Professor and threw it to one side.

"I'm about to give up on this hunk of junk," the Professor stated as he kicked the small mobile suit with one foot.

"You always say that Professor G," Duo said, rolling his eyes.

"I mean it this time," Professor G said vehemently, waving a long finger in Duo's face, "I can't get this bastard to work!"

"But you will," Duo said coaxingly.  The Professor merely glared at him and Duo chuckled, he knew that the old man needed his ego, amongst other things, to be stroked.

"And, you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow," he said sweetly.  Professor G was looking faintly mollified.

"You really believe that?" Professor G asked with a small sigh.

"I always have," Duo said firmly, placing his hands on the small man's shoulders.

"Well then, back to the grinding stone," Professor G stated as he slid under the mobile suit once again, "Hand me that dog-wretched-clincket there."

Duo picked up a tool that could possibly be the one his Professor had asked him for and handed it to him under the suit.

"Did you have a good time in town?" Professor G asked.

Duo snorted, "I got a new book… Professor, do you think I'm odd?"

"My student?  Odd?" Professor G slid out from underneath the machine, he was wearing goggles that magnified his eyes tenfold, and made him look like a bug, "Where would you get a crazy idea like that?"

"I don't know," Duo said, as he shrugged, "I just don't think I fit in here.  There's no one I can really talk to."

"What about that Yuy, he's a handsome fellow," Professor G sated.

"You letch," Duo said at him and pulled out his tongue, "He's handsome all right, and rude and conceited," Duo sighed, "Oh G, he's not for me."

"Well never mind that, I think that's done it," G stated as he slid out from under the machine and stood up, "Here goes nothing," he said as he gingerly pressed a button on a remote control.  There was a faint buzzing sound and the mobile suit's eyes glowed green.  It manoeuvred its scythe style weapon and started chopping at some wood.

"You did it!" Duo shrieked, "You really did it!"

"I did?" The Professor said in disbelief, "I did!  Hitch up Deathscythe Duo, I'm off to the fair!"  As the Professor said this the mobile suit launched a piece of chopped wood right into the side of his head.

After some paracetamol, the Professor and his wagon hitched up to the horse, Deathscythe, were on their way to the fair.

"Goodbye Professor!" Duo called, "Don't die on the way!"

"Nice thing to say Duo," Professor G said sarcastically, "Take care while I'm gone," and with that he was off onto the road that led to the fair.

I thought this was a good place to stop.  Read and Review, me love you long time…

Ja-bye-bye!


	3. The Event

The third part is here.  I'm sorry it's been longer between updates, but it was Christmas and I'm sure you all had better things to do than go an FF.net, and I've been ill.  That's Murphy's Law for you!

All right now, for the disclaimer we have Heero.

Heero: "You've made me narcissistic in this. glares

Me: Well, you had to fit in with the Gaston character.

Heero: whines But I was perfect for the Beast.

Me: Oh sod off, just do the disclaimer or _I'll_ shoot you!

Heero: glares some more Lucas does not own Gundam Wing or Disney; if she did she would be Japanese/dead.  Do not sue; she has the ultimate weapon of destruction… Duo…

Me: Yes, he'll glomp you to death, make no mistake has Duo on a leash.  This is a 6X2 story, it's yaoi, if you don't like slash then don't read!  Flames will be used in my other weapon of destruction and the used on flamers… I'm warning you!

Here is a deeply grateful thanks to my reviewers:

PATTY 40 - Gives PATTY 2 cookies I thought I'd give you 2 cookies, so that both you and your daughter can enjoy them. Waves Hi PATTY's daughter waves some more.  I really enjoyed the cake and milk, thanks!

Yu~ki~ko – Thanks! hands Yu~ki~ko a cookie

Karina – Thanks! hands Karina a cookie

Suki issunsakihayami – Thanks again! hands Suki issunsakihayami a cookie

Blue_Pig – Thanks! hands Blue_Pig a cookie

Duo's lil neko – Thanks! hands Duo's lil neko a cookie

Kurai Kaiba – Thanks for your reviews on both chapters.  Here are 2 cookies as you missed out on the first batch! gives Kurai Kaiba 2 cookies

Thank you to all of you for your reviews, they were all lovely!

The Event 

G stared at the map in his hands.

"This can't be right," he muttered to himself, as Deathscythe plodded along, "We must have taken a wrong turn… this is all your fault," he added to the horse, who ignored him.  They pulled to a stop in front of a sign.  G lifted his lamp eagerly, hoping for direction, but was treated to a bunch of barely there words.

"How is that helpful?" he fumed to no one.  He looked at his map once again.

"All right, let's go this way," he muttered as he directed the horse's head in the direction he wanted them to go.  Deathscythe stared down the creepy, foggy, prematurely dark hollow that the Professor wanted to go down.  He turned to the right and saw a nice, friendly, light trail with birds singing and animals playing.  He gave the creepy trail a sceptical look and turned right.

"No, you daft sod," G said in exasperation, "not that way!"  

He pulled on the reins hard and forced Deathscythe to go left.

"It's a short cut, I'm telling you.  We'll be there in no time," G said as they travelled along their chosen path, which we all know was the wrong one.

Five minutes later, it was creepier, foggier and darker.

"This can't be right, where have you taken us Deathscythe," G said angrily.  The horse turned around and gave him an unreadable look.  Suddenly, eerie howls could be heard emanating from beyond the dead and bent trees.  Deathscythe, who was understandably spooked, started to back up in a feverish attempt to protect himself.

"Whoa!" G yelled.  On the brow of the hill in front of them, several wolves appeared.  Deathscythe bolted and ran.

"Goddamn it horse, calm down!" was all G could manage to say as the horse ran.  The wolves were in hot pursuit of them.  Deathscythe picked up his pace and the wolves started to fall behind.  G sighed in relief as he turned his attention back to the road.

"WOAH!" he screeched and pulled on the reins, hard.  Deathscythe skidded to a stop on the precipice of a cliff.

"Backup, BACKUP!" G yelled as the horse's hoofs struggled to gain purchase on the crumbling edge of the cliff.  After what seemed like n eternity balanced on the brink of the abyss, the carriage slid back to more stable ground.  G let out his breath quickly.  He hadn't realised he'd been holding it in.  Just as he thought they were out of the woods (no pun intended audience), the wolves came back into his field of vision.

"Pants," G grumbled.  Deathscythe bolted again, but this time G wasn't so lucky.  He was thrown clear of the wagon as the horse fled, with several wolves chasing behind.  His lamp had smashed and it was dark.

"Deathscythe," he called softly.  He picked up his hat, which had also fallen and placed it back on his head.  More wolves appeared on the brink of the hill in front of him.  Gasping, he leapt to his feet and ran in any direction that was away from the wolves.  He could hear them close behind and as he turned to glance at where they were, he tripped over a raised root and went stumbling down a slope.  He landed hard on his stomach and was winded slightly.  Amazingly, his hat was still on his head.  He looked up from his position and saw tall gates with a castle beyond.  He got to his knees and heard the menacing growl of the wolves.  He jumped and ran for the gates.

"Help!" he yelled as he rattled them.  He glanced behind and saw the wolves advancing on him, quickly.

"Please!  Help!" he yelped again, rattling the gates.  To his surprise, the gates moved and he fell through.  He pushed them shut quickly with his foot as the wolves leapt, and hit the bars.  He heaved a huge sigh of relief only to have his shoe grabbed by sharp teeth.

"Bugger off!" he yelled, pulling his foot free.  He stood and made his way to the front doors of the giant castle.

"How come I didn't know this was here?" he puzzled as he looked at the huge building.  He shrugged to himself.  He pushed the doors and moved inside.

"Hello?" he called quietly.  He stepped into the large entrance hall and whistled lowly at the grandeur of the place.  There was a small table to his left with a small clock and a candle on it.

"Look," a voice whispered.

"Be quiet," a second whispered harshly, "maybe he'll go away."

"Hello?  Is someone there?" G called into the apparently empty hall.

"Not one word Trowa, not one word," the second voice whispered again.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but I lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night," G said quickly.

"Oh, Wufei, have a heart," the first voice muttered.

"No.  Be quiet… yow!"

G turned his head trying to locate the sources of sound.

"Of course Monsieur, you are welcome here," the first voice said cheerfully.

"Who said that?" G questioned.  He grabbed the candle that was on the table and lifted it to shed some light on the situation.

"Over here," the voice said and G felt a tap on his shoulder.  He spun around expecting to see someone but the hall was as deserted as ever.

"Where?" G asked starting to get annoyed.  He felt another series of taps on his shoulder and he turned his head and stared.

"'Allo!" the candle said with a grin.

"Urk!" G exclaimed as he dropped the candle.

"Oof!" it exclaimed as it landed with a large thud on the floor.  It sat up and rubbed its head.

"Now you've done it Trowa," the clock said as it leapt of the table and scuttled over to the candle.

"How is this accomplished?" G asked in amazement as he picked the clock up and began examining it.  It must have tickled, as the clock was unable to refrain from bursts of giggles.

"Stop that!" he screeched between chuckles.  Professor G began to twist the dials on the face of the clock.

"Eep!" the clock screeched in pain as the candle chuckled lightly.  G opened up the front of the clock and stuck in his finger to play with the pendulum. (There's no way of writing that without it sounding dodgy.)

"Close that at once," the clock said in completely disgusted tones, "Do you mind?"  The clock shut it's front trapping G's finger inside.  He pulled his finger free and shook away the pain.

"I'm sorry," G said quickly, "but I've never seen a talking… a talk…" He then sneezed very loudly into the clock's face.

"Charming," the clock sputtered, using its dials to clean itself.

"Oh, you are soaked to the bone Monsieur.  Come, warm yourself by the fire," the candle said kindly and started to lead G into another room.

"No, no, no!" the clock said, following them.  The candle led G to a large chair in front of a large fireplace.  The clock fell down the small set of stairs, sending cogs in every direction.  A footrest came running up to the chair, barking.

"Argh!" G yelled as he watched the footrest jump about.   He cautiously put out a hand and petted the footrest, which seemed to enjoy it.  The dog/footrest moved under his feet and propped them up.

"That's nice," G said as he pulled a blanket that he was given by a coat stand, around his shoulders.

The clock was just pulling himself up off the carpet, muttering about the injustice of it all, when he was run over by a tea trolley.

"How about a spot of tea sir?" a pretty teapot asked him as she poured some of her contents into a cup, "It'll really warm you up."

"No," came the strangled voice of the clock, "no tea, no tea!"

G lifted the cup up and thanked the teapot.  As he placed the cup to his lips, he heard a soft chuckle.

"His moustache tickles Sally," the cup said to the teapot.  G jumped in surprise and looked at the cup.

"Oh, hello there," he said in surprise.  He lifted the cup to look at it and the handsome cup looked back and smiled.  Suddenly, the doors behind the chair burst open, and a strong burst of icy wind came hurtling through the room and blew out the fire in the grate.  G shivered; more with fear than the cold as he watched all other inhabitants in the room, cringe away from whatever had just entered the room.

"There's a stranger here," a deep voice growled.

"Master, allow me to explain," the candle said quickly, "The gentleman was lost in the woods and…" but he never got to finish as a deafening roar ripped through the tense air and blew all of the candle's flames out.

"Great," the candle muttered, "and I can never find any matches."

The clock poked his head out from under the rug, where he had been hiding, "Master, allow me to say, I was against this from the beginning.  I told them no but they all ignored me…" the clock said quickly before he too was cut off by a load roar.

G looked around the chair and was confronted by a large and feral face of a beast.

"What are you doing here?" the beast growled.

"Nothing," G squeaked as he leapt up from the chair.

"You're not welcome here," the beast said loudly.

"I'm sorry," G stuttered as he stared into the bright blue eyes of the monster.

"What are you staring at?" the beast roared.

"Nothing!" G said quickly as he backed away from the advancing creature.

"So, you've come to stare at the beast have you?" he roared at G who quivered.

"Please," G whimpered, "I meant no harm.  I was lost in the woods and needed a place to stay."

"Ill give you a place to stay," the beast said menacingly as he grabbed G by his short collar and dragged him off.

"No, no please!" G's screams could be heard echoing through the castle.

Ooo, chilling.  The next bit will be updated quicker next time crosses fingers.  Read and Review!  Ja-bye-bye!


	4. The Castle

I know!  I'm a liar!  I said it would be quicker between updates!  Well, I bet you don't really read this bit at the top, I don't blame you.

All right, disclaimer time, I think we'll have Trowa.

Trowa: …

Me: What are you doing?

Trowa: …

Me: What?

Quatre: He won't talk 'cause you have him talking loads in this fic.

Me: That's just silly Quatre shrugs  I'll give you a slice of cake that PATTY gave me.

Trowa: She doesn't own Disney or Gundam Wing, deal with it.  Suing would be pointless.  This is 6X2, that means it's yaoi, male/male.  Don't like?  Don't read.  Flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and then used on flamers.  Now give me the cake. Author hands Trowa a slice of cake

Me: Thank you!

Here's a thank you to those who reviewed again:

PATTY 40 and Jillian – Thanks for the cake and milk, I'm afraid that Duo scoffed half of it before I realised and beat him off with a stick.  But have some of what's left, it still tastes great! gives 2 pieces of the lovely cake and 2 glasses of milk

Karina – Here's the chocolate chip cookie and a bag of chocolate chips, go nuts… or chips… whatever.  Here's some cake and milk gives karina the cake and some milk

Kurai Kaiba – thank you so much for the Duo neko plushie but it did start a fight between Duo and Heero… both of them wanted it… I'm not sure who got it.

Heero: hugging Duo neko plushie mine!

Duo teary

Sighs not much I can do really.  Have some cake and milk gives Kurai Kaiba the cake and milk

On with the actual story!

The castle 

Heero knelt in the bushes and pulled some of the branches out of the way.  He stared at the small cottage for a small while before he felt movement beside him.

"Wow Heero, Duo's going to get the surprise of his life when you propose to him," Relena said excitedly as she peered at the cottage.

"Yep, this is his lucky day," Heero said as he moved back, letting go of the branches.  Relena, who was a bit dim, didn't move and got hit in the face as the branches moved back into place.

"Oof," she exclaimed as she fell backwards.  Heero moved forwards into the garden and surveyed the scene in front of him.  There were people gathered, chairs, tables, a band and a cake.  He smiled.

"I would like to thank you all for coming to my wedding," he said, addressing the gathering before him, "Now I just have to go in there and propose to the guy."

This line was met with uproarious laughter as well as some loud sobbing from the three bimbos.

"Now, Relena," Heero said as he turned to her, "When Duo and I come through that door..."

"I know, I know," she squealed, "I strike up the band," and with that she launched the band into a rendition of here comes the bride.

"Not yet you baka!" Heero roared as he slapped her.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

Duo was sat in a chair reading the book the old bookkeeper had given to him when he heard a loud knock at the door.  He sighed heavily and laid the book on the table, making sure he knew what page he was on.  He went to the door and pulled down the device the Professor had made so that they could see who was outside before they opened the door.  The Professor was always worried that the government would come and steal his ideas.  Duo stared through the contraption at the distorted image of Heero and groaned.

"Just what I need," Duo muttered as he moved to open the door.  As soon as he had twisted the knob the door was pushed open.

"Heero!" Duo exclaimed as he moved backwards quickly, "What a pleasant surprise."

"Isn't it though?" Heero said as he moved further into the room.

"Today's the day…" he started as he moved forwards, but was distracted by a mirror.  He stopped and checked his appearance.

"Ah," he stated as he deemed himself satisfied with what he saw, Duo rolled his eyes, "Today's the day I make your dreams come true," he finished.  Duo had moved behind the table.

"What do you know about my dreams Heero?" Duo asked, amused.

"Plenty," Heero stated as he sat down in the chair that Duo had been sitting, "Picture this."  As he said this he placed his muddy feet onto the table, right on Duo's book.  He kicked his boot off onto the floor.

"A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire.  My little wife, massaging my feet," he wiggled his toes as Duo wrinkled his nose in disgust at Heero's mangy socks, "While the little ones play on the floor with the dogs."  Heero stood up and leaned closer to Duo, "We'll have six or seven," he said matter-of-factly.

"Dogs?" Duo questioned as he grabbed his book and moved it out of harms way.

"No Duo," Heero said with a chuckle, "strapping boys, like me."  

Duo raised an eyebrow, "Heero, I'm male, a bloke, I can't get pregnant."

"Details," Heero said, waving a dismissive hand.  Duo stared at him with wide eyes.

"And do you know who that little wife'll be?" Heero said as Duo moved and put the book away on the bookshelf.

"Let me think," Duo said as he stared into space with fear.

"You Duo," Heero said as he trapped Duo against the bookcase.  Duo ducked under his arms and moved a chair into the middle of the room.  He leant against the front door.

"Heero I'm…" he searched for the right words, "speechless.  I don't know what to say."

Heero knocked the chair out of the way and pinned Duo to the door.

"Say you'll marry me," Heero said simply.

"I'm very sorry Heero, but… but…" Duo struggled as Heero's face got closer and closer.  Duo's hand, which had been searching for anything, gained purchase on the doorknob. "I just don't deserve you," and with that, he twisted the doorknob and the door swung open.  Duo moved backwards with the door and Heero fell right through into a giant mud puddle as Duo slammed the door shut.  The band began to play 'Here comes the bride,' with Relena conducting.  Duo opened the door a small way and threw out Heero's boots.  Relena turned around to get a look at the happy couple but no one was there.  Then she saw Heero's feet and ass sticking out of the big mud puddle behind her.  She stopped conducting and stared as a pig's head rose out of the mud.  She frowned at in confusion until Heero's head surfaced, underneath the body of the pig.  He threw his head back and the pig slid off him with a loud squeal.  Relena chuckled and knelt down in front of Heero's face.

"So," she said as she chuckled again, "How'd it go?"

Heero stood abruptly and grabbed Relena by the front of her shirt.

"I'll have Duo for my wife," he spat at her, "Make no mistake about that," and he threw Relena into the mud puddle.

"Touchy," Relena said to the pig, which grunted in response.  Heero stalked off, wiping the mud from his face and the rest of the congregation left also.

Duo stuck his head out of the door and addressed the 2 startled chickens that were stood on the porch.

"Is he gone?" he asked the chickens, "Can you imagine?" he stormed as he picked up the bucket with the chicken feed in it.

"He asked me to marry him," he said as he ran down the steps and threw some chicken feed down on to the floor.

"Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless…" he yelled as he moved into the animal pen.

[Duo:]                        

                "Madame Heero!"

                Can't you just see it? He picks up a scarf and wraps it round his head

                "Madame Yuy!"

                His "little wife" He kicks a bucket off the side

                No sir! Not me!

                I guarantee it Drops the scarf

                I want much more than this provincial life He runs out of the animal pen and up the hill until he's in a field of dandelions

                I want adventure in the great wide somewhere

                I want it more than I can tell Falls to the ground and picks a dandelion

                And for once it might be grand

                To have someone understand he pulls the seeds off and lets them float away on the wind

                I want so much more than they've got planned…

Just then he heard a familiar whinny and he saw Deathscythe running up the hill.

"Deathscythe?" he called as he stood up.  The horse ran to him and Duo could see that he still had the carriage with the mobile suit on it attached.

"Where's the Professor?" he asked the horse, "Where is he Deathscythe?  Why am I asking you these questions, you're a horse?" he stated as the beast of burden stared at him.

"You have to take me to him," Duo said as he quickly unlatched the horse from the carriage and jumped on.

This is the reformatted version, without the last half of this chapter, which has been put onto the next chapter, so, no worries!


	5. Enter the Beast

**Author's note, very important:**

Yes, I know, I screwed up royally with the formatting on the last chapter!  What a ditz, that chapter was like twice as long but because of the DAMNED FORMATTING it was all tiny and in one line.  I was going to reformat it and then just write the next bit but I decided that I'd put the second half of the last chapter at the beginning of this chapter instead, it all works out the same anyway.  I really am very sorry, but I'm stupid and I didn't check it, blah!

All right, it's disclaimer time who shall we have? Looks around, Trowa is munching on the apple pie and gives the author the finger Not Trowa, he did it last time.  Looks around again aha!  Wufei!  You cannot escape your duty.

Wufei: Dishonourable onna!  Can you not see I'm stalking Barton's apple pie! Trowa looks vaguely alarmed and runs away with the pie Damn!  That pie would have tasted good with my M&M cookies.

Me: Shut up and do the disclaimer, you can rant about injustice and stuff.

Wufei: SQUEE! Everyone stares I did not just say squee… Know this, intolerable fools, Lil, or Lucas, whatever, does not own Gundam Wing or Disney because she is a dishonourable, justice-less onna who….

Me: Hey!  I resent the implication that… oh… wait… your right, carry on.

Wufei:  nods Be warned that this fic is 6X2, which means it's yaoi.  If you are too weak of mind to deal with this then do not read.

Heero: Hn, this from the guy who gets a nosebleed when he sees two men kissing even though we know he has a thing for Treize and…is gesturing with peach pie

Wufei: Silence!  All flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and then used on flamers.  Lucas does not promise to not release Duo on said flamers; you will be squeezed to death. Gets tackled by Duo in a flying glomp attack

Duo: Gimme a cookie! Is holding the Shinigami plushie and beating Wufei over the head with it

Wufei: Injustice!  You had a whole Devil's food cake to yourself you fat baka!  Get off me!

Me: pries Duo off of Wufei Now for the thank you's to the reviewers, and the explanation for all the food ^.^

**Karina** - Thank you for pointing out that the line had decided that the east of the screen seemed like a good holiday destination, I wouldn't have realised and the whole fic would have been messed up Gives karina a large slice of cake and some milk

**Graymyst** - Thank you too for pointing out my crap formatting! Gives Graymyst a large slice of cake and some milk

**PATTY 40 and Jillian** - We thank you for all our presents of food!  Know this other reviewers, the cake you receive is all courtesy of PATTY and her daughter Jillian who are kind enough to feed my cast and me!  Trowa loves his apple pie… maybe a little too much.  Duo inhaled his cake, which means he loved it, but is now poaching everyone else's food.  Quatre cried when he saw his cake he said he wants to give you this hands PATTY a lovely pink shirt don't ask me why.  Wufei is defending his cookies with his life, although he wants Trowa's pie.  Heero thanks you for your kind words about him being the bad guy and says thank you for the cake and ice cream, though he gave some of the ice cream to Duo to make him go away.  I must admit, I took some of Zechs' sugar cookies, but only two 'cause they looked yummy.  He said they were indeed yummy and can he have more.  Bear in mind PATTY that he was doing this with a chibi pout and bishounen sparkles and everything.  Relena thought the dirt was chocolate, and ate the pie; no one stopped her… oh well!  Thanks again for the cake and milk!  My cast LOVE you! Gives PATTY loads of cake and milk for her and Jillian

**Kurai Kaiba** – Everyone loved their plushies, especially Duo, though he occasionally uses it as a weapon to get cookies from Wufei shrugs oh well.  Gives Kurai Kaiba a large slice of cake and some milk

**Yu~ki~ko** – Be prepared, Zechs is almost here! Gives Yu~ki~ko a large slice of cake and some milk

After that long and vaguely pointless ramble, here's the actual fic.

Enter the Beast 

Some time later, Duo was stood before a giant castle.

"How come I didn't know this was here?" Duo questioned as he stared through the giant gates.  Deathscythe was restless and attempted to get away.

"Hey, calm down," Duo soothed as he slid off the horse's back.  He spotted something between the gates and pushed them open.  He picked up the hat.

"Professor?" he questioned as he stared at the front doors of the castle.

"Just couldn't keep quiet could we?" the clock hissed at the candle, "Just had to invite him to stay didn't we?  Serve him tea, sit in the Master's chair, pet the pooch," the clock raged.  

The candle merely shrugged, "I was trying to be hospitable," he explained.  A creaking sound quieted them.

"Professor?"

The candle and the clock stared at the door as a beautiful young boy came inside.

"Hello?" the boy called again as he moved passed the table where the candle and clock stood.  He moved on calling for the Professor at regular intervals and moved out of their sight.  They were silent for a short while before the candle turned to the clock.

"Did you see that?" he questioned excitedly, "he's the one, the one who's come to break the spell!"  He jumped off the table and followed the boy down the hall,

"No, Trowa!  Stop!" the clock hissed as he ran after the candle.

Elsewhere in the castle, the teapot was busy filling a metal bowl with hot water and soap.

"Sally, Sally!" the handsome cup called as he shuffled up to her, "There's a beautiful boy in the castle!"

"Nonsense Treize, I won't let you make up such stories," the teapot scolded.

"Like you could stop me," Treize snorted, "But I saw him," he exclaimed.

"Not another word," the teapot said, "Into the tub," she stated as she flicked the cup into the metal bowl.

"You treat me like a child!" Treize exclaimed from somewhere in the bowl, "And I'm fairly sure I'm older than you!"

"Sally!" another voice called.  The teapot looked up and saw the feather duster above her, "There's a boy in the castle!" he exclaimed as he ruffled off.

"See?" the handsome cup said as he peered over the edge of the bowl, "I told you."

Duo moved farther into the building, calling for the Professor.  The candle and clock moved stealthily behind him until they came to a door.  As Duo walked passed they opened it and moved inside, the door shut with a bang.  Duo whirled round.

"Hello?  Professor?" he called as he opened the door.  He could see a staircase that climbed out of sight and a light that was moving steadily up the stairs.

"Excuse me!" he called, "Can you help me?  I'm looking for my Professor! I…" as Duo moved around the curve he saw no one, only a candle sat on a ledge.

"That's freaky," Duo said as he stared at the candle, "I'm sure there was someone."

He moved on up the stairs.

"Hello?" he called again as he pulled a flaming torch from a bracket on the wall.

"Duo?" a croaky voice called.  Duo jumped and stared into what appeared to be a prison like room.  He saw an arm slide out of the bars at the bottom of one of the thick wooden doors.

"Professor G!" he yelled as he ran forward to the door and knelt down.  He grabbed his hand.

"How did you find me?" G questioned and then broke into a coughing fit.

"Oh, your hands are like ice," Duo said as he clutched the old man's hand, "We have to get you out of here."

"No, Duo.  I want you to leave this place," G said quickly.

"Who's done this to you?" Duo said angrily.

"No, Duo, you must go, now," G said desperately.  Duo felt a large hand on his shoulder and he was pulled away from the door and thrown to the floor, he dropped the torch in a puddle and he was plunged into darkness.

"What are you doing here?" a harsh voice asked.  Duo looked around for the owner of the voice, but could see nothing in the dark.

"No!  Duo run!" G yelled as Duo turned his head warily.

"Who's there?" Duo said into the darkness. 

"The Master of this castle," the voice said.

"You have to let him go.  Can't you see?  He's sick!" Duo said desperately as he moved closer to G's cell door.

"Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!" the voice roared.

"Please let him go, I'll do anything," Duo said as he stood up.

"There's nothing you can do," the voice stated, "he is my prisoner."

"Oh there must be some way I can…" Duo started.  He stopped as an idea struck him.

"Take me instead," Duo said as he moved into the only little bit of light that was coming from a small window.

"No, Duo, you don't know what you're doing!" G yelled.

"You," the voice said scornfully, "You would… take his place?" the voice continued more softly.

"No, Duo," G said angrily.  Duo ignored him.

"If I did," he said quickly, "would you let him go?"

"Yes," the voice said quietly, "but you must promise to stay here forever."

Duo glanced down at the floor and the lifted his head, "Come into the light," he said into the darkness.  Something in front of him shifted and he saw some animal-like feet followed by large legs, inadequately covered by ripped trousers, an even larger chest with a cloak draped over the broad shoulders all covered in hair of a dark blond shade.  Then the face of a beast, with horns and fangs could be clearly seen.  Duo's eyes went wide in shock as he covered his mouth with one hand and he fell to the floor clutching at the bars of the Professor's cell.

"Never thought of waxing?" Duo blurted out before he could top himself.  He beast raised a would-be eyebrow if the rest of his face wasn't equally as hairy.

"No, Duo, I won't let you do this," G said to Duo's bowed head.  Duo stood up again and moved back into the light.  He lifted his head high and closed his eyes.

"You have my word," Duo said.

"Done!" the beast said as he moved past him.  Duo clutched at his chest and fell to his knees, as he sank fully onto the floor, he place one fist on the ground as he let his head fall.  As the cell door opened G leapt out and put his arm around Duo's shoulders.

"Duo, no.  I'm old, I've lived my life," he said quickly, Duo looked into his eyes.  Suddenly G was being dragged away by the beast.

"Wait," Duo called.

"Duo!" G yelled as he was pulled out of sight.

"Wait!" Duo shouted again.  The beast dragged G all the way through the castle and outside.

"Please, please spare the boy," G said as he struggled against the beast's grip.

"He is no longer your concern," the beast growled as he threw him into a horse-less carriage.

"Take him to the village," he told the carriage as he made his way back inside.  The carriage creaked and groaned and moved off, away from the castle.

"Let me out!  Please let me out!" G called from inside, but his calls went unheeded.

The beast was climbing back up the tower he came to the ledge where the candle was stood.

"Master Zechs?" the candle said tentatively.

"What?" Zechs growled.

"Well, since the boy will be staying with us for quite some time, I was thinking that maybe you could offer him a more comfortable room?" the candle said before having all of his flames blown out by one loud roar.  Zechs moved on up the stairs.

"Then again, maybe not," the candle said quickly.

Duo was on the floor of the cell looking out the tiny window.  Zechs moved into the room.

"You didn't even let me say goodbye," Duo said, he turned around to stare at Zechs and there were tears in his eyes, "I'll never get to see him again, and I didn't get to say goodbye."

Duo dissolved into tears as Zechs scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I'll show you to your room," Zechs said to Duo's form.

"What?" Duo asked as he looked up, "But I thought…"

Zechs rolled his eyes and gestured around the room, "Do you want to stay in the tower?"

"No," Duo said, pouting.

"Then follow me," Zechs stated.  They moved through the castle, Zechs leading the way.  He had the candle in his hand acting as the light.  Duo was staring around at all of the twisted gargoyles that adorned the walls of the castle.

"Who was your interior decorator?" he muttered under his breath.

"Say something to him," the candle encouraged.

"Oh," Zechs said quietly, "My name is Zechs Marquise, this is my castle… I, er, hope you like it here," he said then continued to walk in silence.  The candle made gesturing motions at him.

"The castle is your home now, so you may go anywhere you like, except the West Wing," Zechs said.

Duo looked up, "What's in the West…" he began.

"It's forbidden," Zechs said quickly as he glared at Duo.  Duo looked taken aback.  Zechs growled and continued to lead the way.  Eventually they stopped at a large door.  Zechs pushed it open and allowed Duo to enter.  Duo stared around.  It was a large, beautiful room; richly decorated and comfortable.

"Nice digs," Duo said before he could stop himself.

"If you need anything, my servants will attend you," Zechs said from the doorway.

"Dinner!" the candle hissed, "Invite him to dinner."

Zechs stood up straighter, "You will… join me for dinner," he said grumpily, "That's not a request!" and with that he slammed the door shut.  Duo gasped and leant against the door before running forward and throwing himself face down onto the bed.  He sank several feet into the mattress.  He squirmed and sat up.

"I could suffocate in that!" he gasped as he took deep breaths, "How am I meant to be all dramatic and desolate-heroine-ish if the mattress is trying to kill me?"  He chuckled for a little while but they changed into sobs as he covered his face with his hands and started to cry.

In the small town of indiscriminate French origin, Heero was sitting in his tavern, brooding… so what else is new?  Relena came over with two flagons of mead (fancy talk for two pints of beer).

"Who does he think he is?" Heero muttered, more to himself than Relena, "That boy has tangled with the wrong man!  No one says no to Heero Yuy."

"Heh, darn right!" Relena said as she raised the beer in a toast.

"Dismissed!  Rejected!  Publicly humiliated!" Heero growled as he snatched both beers from Relena's hand, just as she was about to take a sip, "Why, it's more than I can bear," Heero said as he threw the two glasses into the fire in front of him.

"More beer?" Relena asked, perhaps trying to change the subject, but it's more likely that she misheard… because she's stupid.

"What for?" Heero huffed, "Nothing helps," he sat and sulked in his big chair, "I'm disgraced."

"Who, you?" Relena said in genuine astonishment, "Never!  Heero, you've got to pull yourself together!"

[Relena:]         Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Heero

                Looking so down in the dumps places her hands on his mouth and pulls his lips up into a smile, Heero punches her

                Every guy here'd love to be you, Heero

                Even when taking your lumps

                There's no man in town as admired as you

                You're ev'ryone's favorite guy

                Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you

                And it's not very hard to see why

                No one's slick as Heero

                No one's quick as Heero

                No one's genetically engineered like Heero

                For there's no man in town half as manly

                Perfect, a great man on show

                You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley Slaps several men on the head

                And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on Gets snatched back and lifted up by the four men at the table

[Chorus:]       No one's been like Heero

                A king pin like Heero

[Relena:]        No one's got deep Prussian blue eyes like Heero

[Heero:]       As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

[Chorus:]       My what a guy, that Heero

                Give five "hurrahs!"

                Give twelve "hip-hips!"

[Relena:]        Heero is the best

                And the rest is all drips Somehow manages to throw beer all over Heero's face, she gets punched again.  Heero jumps onto a table and starts a brawl.

[Chorus:]       No one fights like Heero

                Douses lights like Heero

[Cronie:]       In a wrestling match nobody bites like Heero Heero bites his leg

[Bimbettes:]    For there's no one as burly and brawny Heero lifts up the bench that the three girls are sat on

[Heero:]       As you see I've got biceps to spare

[Relena:]        Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

[Heero:]        (That's right!)Drops the bench on Relena's head.

                And know my chest isn't even covered with hair opens shirt to reveal smooth chest

[Cronies:]      No one hits like Heero

[Townsman:]     Matches wits like Heero

[Relena:]        In a spitting match nobody spits like Heero

[Heero:]       I'm especially good at expectorating

                (Ptooey!)Spits into a spittoon that Relena is holding, and she somehow manages to drop it on her head

[Chorus:]       Ten points for Heero!

[Heero:]       When I was a lad I beat four dozen men

                Ev'ry morning to help me get large

                And now that I'm grown I beat five dozen men

                So I'm roughly the size of a barge

[Chorus:]       No one shoots like Heero shoots at a beer barrel

                Makes those beauts like Heero Men fill cups from the now hole-filled barrel

[Relena:]        Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

[Heero:]       I use antlers in all of my decorating

[Chorus:]       Say it again

                Who's a man among men?

                And then say it once more

                Who's the hero next door?

                Who's a super success?

                Don't you know? Can't you guess?

                Ask his fans and his five hangers-on

                There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down the 4 cronies pick up the chair Heero's sitting in and raise it, they then move around and drop it on top of Relena

 [Chorus:]       Heero!

Just as the song ended, Professor G burst through the doors of the tavern.

"Help, help, someone help me!" G cried out as he ran into the bar.

"G?" the bartender said in disbelief as a waitress poured a drink into a punter's lap.

"He's got him," he said desperately as he grabbed the front of some guy's jacket, "He's got him locked in a dungeon!"

"Who?" the harassed man asked as he was let go of.  With the release of pressure he fell off his chair.

"Duo!" G screamed, "We must go, now!"

"Calm down old man!" Heero shouted from his chair, "Who's got Duo locked in a dungeon?" he said it with some amusement and raised his eyebrow, awaiting the answer.

"A beast!  A terrible, monstrous beast!" G yelled out.  Everyone stared at him for several minutes before laughing heartily.

"Is it a big beast?" one man asked as he stood up and raised his arms in a ghoulish way.

"Huge," G answered, moving away from the man and into someone else.

"With an ugly snout?" the second man asked.

"Well…" G thought, "It was quite cute looking… but vicious!"  

The second man pushed him into a third, "With sharp cruel fangs," he asked as he mimed biting motions.

"Yes, yes, yes," G said, exasperated, "Will you help me?"

"All right old man," Heero said with amusement, "We'll help you out," he made gestures to his cronies who grabbed G under the arms and dragged him to the front door.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" G said as he was thrown out of the door into the snow.

"Crazy old G," one of the cronies said as they moved back inside the tavern and walked passed Heero.

"Yeah, he's always good for a laugh," another said as they all chuckled and moved to the bar.

[Heero:]       Crazy old G, hmmm?

                Crazy old G. Hmmm. Looks to Relena who's still under the chair

                Relena, I'm afraid I've been thinking

[Relena:]        A dangerous pastime

[Heero:]       nods I know pulls her from under the chair

                But that wacky old coot is like Duo's father

                And his sanity's only "so-so"

                Now the wheels in my head have been turning

                Since I looked at that loony, old man

                See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Duo

                And right now I'm evolving a plan

                If I . . . {whisper}

[Relena:]        Yes?

[Heero:]       Then we . . . {whisper}

[Relena:]        No! Would he . . .

[Heero:]       {Whisper} Guess!

[Relena:]        Now I get it!

[Both:]         Let's go!  Start to ballroom dance around the room

                No one plots like Heero

[Heero:]       Takes cheap shots like Heero

[Relena:]        Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Heero

[Chorus:]       So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating Heero imitates walking down the aisle with Relena 

My what a guy!

                        Heero!

Outside in the freezing air, G wrapped his arms around himself.

"Will no one help me?" he asked into the night then frowned, "Now I'm really losing it, I'm talking to no one, there I go again, I just can't stop…" he continued to mutter in this vein as he walked home.

**Another important author note:**

I know this was long but I needed to catch up.  I'm going skiing on Sunday, so it's unlikely that there'll be another update before I go away, so It'll be at least a week and a half, but probably longer because I have exams for two weeks when I get back.  I only have four exams though, so I'll try and do some more at some point in those weeks.  So the point of that was look out for an update after the 20th of January.  Hope you won't all abandon me ^_^  My cast are threatening to walk out, but I've placated them with the remaining cake and milk that PATTY gave me.  You're a lifesaver! Till I get back then!  Ja-bye-bye!


	6. Face Off

Yes, as promised here is the next part!  

Me: So let's get straight on with the disclaimer, Quatre it's your turn!

Quatre: YAY! Dances around for a while till Duo throws some pizza in his direction  All right!  I'm doing it! Sticks tongue out at Duo  Lucas does not own Gundam Wing or Disney, 'cause if she did she would be rich and we wouldn't be doing this for free.

Duo: Dude, your missing out, she's giving the rest of the cast sexual favours.

Quatre: Really?

Me: It's not true, I've not gone near Relena or G, could you imagine?  And I bought several very expensive "escorts" for Sally and Noin.

Quatre: wails What about me?

Me: I'll get you an "escort" too, okay?

Quatre: grins Okay!  This story is 6X2, which means it's yaoi.  Don't read it if you're not okay with it, we will not tolerate your prejudice.  Flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and used on the flamers.

Me: Disaster averted, now to thank the reviewers, without whom, I would die.

**gundam06serenity** – Thanks for your review, I thought Lady Une would make a good enchantress… she seemed a better choice than Dorothy and her scary, scary eyebrows!  Oh well, each to their own I suppose. Gives gundam06serenity some pizza, salad and coke

**Yu~ki~ko** – Thanks for your review!  Wufei nearly fainted when Treize got in that tub… it was hilarious Wufei shouts 'injustice' in the background, the author ignores him.  Gives Yu~ki~ko pizza, salad and coke

**Kurai Kaiba** – Don't cry, we're back, sort of… here have some food. Gives Kurai Kaiba pizza, salad and coke

**Adrelliehs** – Thanks for your reviews, both of them. Gives Adrelliehs pizza, salad and coke

**Karina** – Thank you for your review, I bet it was much easier to read the fic as it was not all in one line… damn formatting… Gives Karina pizza, salad and coke

**nnp** – Thanks for you review! Gives nnp pizza salad and coke

**PATTY 40 and Jillian** – Thank you for the pizza, salad and the coke.  I agree, coke rules all.  I saved the apple pie and ice cream for just the cast, but of course you get some hands her the pie and ice cream.  Duo had convulsions over the pizza and fainted, so we all got a look in on the food.  Zechs thanks you for the sugar cookies, whilst sparkling like only a bishounen can.  I couldn't find Relena… I didn't really care and you're right about her.  What was with all that yelling of the cliff?  He wasn't there, what did she think was going to happen exactly?  He was going to magically appear from wherever he happened to be?  She's such a LOSER!  I hated that bit in Gundam, the cliff bit; wound me up good and proper.  Gives PATTY and Jillian the pizza, salad and coke

On with the actual story, rather than the mad ramblings of a crazy woman.

**Face off**

Duo sat on the bed, wiping his tears off his face as they fell when a knock at his door distracted him.

"Who is it?" he called.

"It's Ms Po, dear," a kindly voice could be heard.  Duo stood and made his way to the door.  He opened it and stared at the blank space in front of him.

"Thought you might like a nice spot of tea," the voice said again.  Duo looked down and saw a teapot, a rather handsome cup, a milk jug and sugar bowl, complete with spoon, make their way into his room.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed as he backed up into a wardrobe.

"Oops!  Careful!" another voice said cheerfully.  Duo turned and eyed up the smiling wardrobe.

"I don't remember smoking any wacky 'baccy or suffering any severe head injuries recently," Duo muttered to himself, "This is impossible," he said out loud as he sat back down onto the bed.

"I know it is," the wardrobe said as she plonked herself down on the bed, Duo was sent flying face first into the mattress, "but here we are," the wardrobe finished.  Duo struggled out of the mattress and stared at the wardrobe some more.

"You can call me Sally, dear," the teapot said kindly.

"And I'm Lucrezia Noin," the wardrobe said as she stood again, "but you can just call me Noin."

"How about some tea?" Sally said.  Duo nodded mutely, "Treize come here please."  

The handsome cup moved forward and allowed Sally to pour some tea into him.

"Thank you," Duo said as he picked up the cup.

"You have very soft hands," Treize said.  Duo eyed the cup in alarm.

"Treize!  What have I told you about flirting?" Sally scolded.

"Absolutely nothing," Treize said as he waggled his eyebrows at Duo.

"Oh," Sally said, "Well remind me to talk to you about that later."

"Whatever," Treize retorted as Duo put him back on the floor, still a little suspicious.

"That was a very brave thing you did my dear, giving yourself up," Sally said as she smiled sadly at Duo.

"We all think so," Noin added as she too smiled at Duo.

"Yeah, but I've lost my would-be father figure, my freedom… everything… it's a bit of a kick in the pants," Duo said as he shook his head sadly.

Sally chuckled, "Cheer up, things will turn out all right in the end, you'll see."

"But how do you know?" Duo questioned sadly.

"Well, I've seen the film, and I know how it ends," Sally said, sort of shrugging.

Duo stared at her with wide eyes, "Right…"

"Oh look at me, jabbering on when there's a supper to get on the table!" Sally admonished as she bustled out of the room, the milk and sugar following her, "Come on Treize," she said.  The handsome cup turned to go out of the door.

"Call me," Treize called as he exited.  Duo heard Sally yell "Treize!" in a shocked and scolding manner and he chuckled.

"Well then," Noin said as she turned to him, "What shall we dress you in for dinner?  Ooo!  Let's see what I've got in my drawers!" she said in a friendly, conspiratorial way.  As she flung her doors open, several butterflies and a skeleton fell out.  Duo stared at the skeleton in disbelief.

"How embarrassing," Noin chuckled as she manoeuvred herself over the skeleton.  She opened her doors again and used one to rummage within herself.  She pulled out a nice blue shirt and some black trousers.

"So you've got quite good mobility even though you're a wardrobe?" Duo said as he watched Noin put the clothes on the bed with her would-be hand if it were not actually a wardrobe door.

"Yeah, it's not so bad.  You'll look beautiful in these," she exclaimed as she looked over her choice for clothes.

"Thanks, but I'm not going to dinner," Duo said as he sat cross-legged on the bed.

Noin gasped in her best 'dramatic event' fashion, "But you must!" she wailed.

There was a knock at the door and the clock walked in and bowed low.

"Dinner is served," he said as he looked up and smiled.

Downstairs, Zechs was pacing back and forth in front on the fireplace in the large dining room.  The candle Trowa, and Sally were watching him from the mantelpiece.

"What's taking so long?" he growled, "I told him to come down for dinner.  Why isn't he here yet?" he roared at his two servants

"Be patient Master Zechs, he's lost a father figure and his freedom all in one day," Sally said as she watched her Master pace back ad forth impatiently.

"Master Zechs," Trowa said quickly, "Have you thought that maybe he is the one to break the spell?"

"Of course I have!" Zechs said angrily, "I'm not a fool," he muttered as he resumed pacing.

"Well then," Trowa said cheerfully, "You fall in love with him, he falls in love with you and poof!" he yelled as he blew out the flames on his hands, "We'll be human again by midnight."

Sally gave him a disbelieving look, "What are you on?" she questioned, "It's not as easy as that Trowa, these things take time."

"Not in my experience," Trowa said with a sly wink.

Sally frowned, "Slut," she admonished, Trowa merely grinned.

"It's hopeless," Zechs wailed as he stared into the fire, "He's so beautiful and I'm so…"

"Hairy?" Trowa added helpfully, then got poked sharply in the side by Sally.

"Well look at me!" Zechs roared pointing at his horns.

Sally tried to look reassuring as she struggled to actually reassure him, "You must help him to see past all that," she said helpfully with a kind smile.

"I don't know how," Zechs muttered whilst pouting.  Sally rolled her eyes.

"Well first you can make yourself look more presentable," she chided, "Stand up straight, try to act like a gentleman."  Zechs immediately straightened his posture and pulled a face that he thought might look gentlemanly.

Trowa nodded helpfully, "When he comes in, give him a dashing debonair smile," he said, whilst demonstrating the aforementioned smile, "Come on, show me the smile."

Zechs bared his teeth in what was more of a grimace than an enticing smile.

"But don't scare him," Sally added quickly and Zechs nodded.

"Enchant him with your rapier wit," Trowa said, gesturing wildly so that Sally had to duck.

"But be gentle," Sally warned as Zechs swung his head between the two as they gave him instructions.

"Shower him with complements," Trowa added.

"But be sincere," Sally said immediately after.  Zechs was shaking his head and clutching at his face in frustration, "and above all," Sally added.

"You must control your temper!" they both said in unison.  The doors that entered into the dining room creaked a little.

"Here he is," Trowa said excitedly.  Zechs looked up in anticipation as the doors swung open revealing the clock Wufei.

"Good evening," he said tentatively.  Zechs' face fell into an angry frown.

"Well, where is he?" Zechs growled at Wufei.

"Who?" Wufei asked, feigning confusion.  When he caught the look on Zechs' face he laughed nervously, "Oh the boy, yes the, er, boy." 

Wufei twiddled his thumbs and looked around, as Zechs got more and more livid.

"Well," Wufei began, looking anywhere but at Zechs, "He's in the process of… circumstances being what they are…" he trailed off and let his arms fall dejectedly as he resigned himself to what he was about to say, "He's not coming."

"WHAT!" Zechs yelled as he burst through the doors and leapt up the stairs.

Trowa, Sally and Wufei came running after him.

"Your grace, your eminence!" Wufei screeched, "Let's not be hasty!"

Zechs reached the door of Duo's room and banged his fist on the door.

"I thought I told you to come down to dinner?" Zechs yelled through the door.

"Bite me!" Duo yelled back from behind the locked doors, "I'm not hungry."

"You come out or I'll…" Zechs searched around for the statement he wanted amid his rage-fogged brain, "I'll break down the door!"

"Er Master Zechs," Trowa said quietly.  Zechs glared down at him, "I may be wrong, but I don't think that yelling insults and threats is the best way to win the boy's affection," he stated as he smiled encouragingly at him.

"Please," Wufei pleaded, "attempt to have some justice."

"But he is being so difficult," Zechs bit out as he glared at the doors.

"Gently," Sally said in her most calming voice.  Zechs pouted and averted his eyes from the doors.

"Will you come down to dinner?" he muttered.

"No," Duo said firmly.  Zechs pointed at the door and made a 'you see' type face.  Everyone made calming gestures.

"Calm," Wufei said, the strain evident in his voice, "gentile."

"It would give me great pleasure," Zechs growled out, "if you would join me for dinner."

"Gentlemen say please," Wufei muttered from behind his hand.

"Please," Zechs finished.

"No thanks, it's all good," Duo said quickly.  Zechs lost his temper.

"You can't stay in there forever!" he yelled through the doors.

"Watch me fluffy!" Duo yelled back.

"Fluffy!?  Fine!  Then go ahead and STARVE!" he roared.  He turned to his three servants, "If he doesn't eat with me," he pointed to himself, "then he doesn't eat at all," he finished swiping his hands through the air and with that he leapt off towards the West Wing and slammed the doors.  A small bit of ceiling fell down and knocked Trowa flat.

"That didn't go well," Sally said as she stared at the doors their Master had just slammed.

"Trowa," Wufei said as he turned to the fallen candle, "I want you to stand guard at the door and notify me if there is the slightest change."

Trowa got of the floor and stood in front of the door.

"You can count on me," he said as he began to pace back and forth in front of the door.

"Well we better get down stairs and start clearing up," Wufei said wearily as he and Sally went down the stairs.

Elsewhere in the castle, namely the West Wing, Zechs was smashing up things in a frenzy.

"I ask nicely and he refuses!" he raged, "What does he want me to do?  Beg!" he roared out at no one.  He picked up the magic mirror and stared into it.

"Show me the boy," he commanded.  The glass glowed green and then flashed as if struck by lightning.  He could see Duo sat on the bed with Noin.

"Master Zechs isn't so bad once you get to know him," Noin was saying to an angry Duo, "Why don't you give him a chance?"  she cajoled.

"I don't want to get to know that short-tempered ball of fluff!" Duo yelled and Noin snorted as she attempted to hold in her laughter.

"Fluff!" Zechs said angrily.

"I don't want to have anything to do with him!" Duo finished as he turned away from Noin.

"I'm just fooling myself," Zechs said in defeat as he moved the mirror to his side, "He'll never see me as anything but a ball of angry fluff… a monster," he finished sadly as he placed the mirror face down onto the table next to the enchanted rose.

"It's hopeless," he whispered.

All right, I finished it and got it posted on time!  Go me!  I've still got exams, but I think I can safely say that the next chapter will be out on Thursday the 29th of January, so look for it then.  Hope you all enjoyed it!


	7. Be Our Guest

I know… I'm a liar!  I said yesterday, I know, I know, but I finished my exams yesterday and spent the day celebrating away from my computer, I'm a terrible person!  Anyway, here it is, a day late, but here it is.  The seventh part, if my brain serves me, which it may not. 

Disclaimer time.  Who can we have do it. Relena waving hand in the air frantically, author ignores her and Duo throws stuff at her 

Duo:  What about the can?

Me: Oh yeah! Picks up can Before the disclaimer, I have to open this can.  Takes lid of can, and the party PATTY and Jillian sent bursts out

Heero: Is that Chinese food?  Eyes the delicious foods, then all the cast fall on said food

Me: grins Thanks for the fantastic party in the can PATTY and Jillian watches some spectacular fireworks, Duo is in background waving a rather large paper dragon around with two egg rolls stuffed in his mouth Disclaimer, before we forget, Treize?

Treize: Looks at his pork fried rice sadly, but stands up Lucas does not own Gundam Wing or Disney; if she did she could probably afford a better car.  This story is 6X2, this means it's yaoi.  If you don't like this, you're crazy. Author glares at Treize I mean, if you don't like that, don't read this.  All flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and then used on flamers.

Me: Also, there is some 3X4 references in this one.

Me: mumbles around mouthful of moo goo guypan thank you. Swallows Now to thank everyone who has reviewed this story, because I love you.

**gundam06serenity** – I've posted, see?  Don't hurt me!  Lol, just kidding, thanks for the review gives gundam06serenity some food

**Yu~ki~ko** – Glad you liked the fluff thing ^__^, thanks for the review. Gives Yu~ki~ko some food

**Karina** – Here's some more story, as you requested, thank you for you review! Gives karina some food

**PATTY 40 and Jillian** – Thank you for the party in the can, we're thoroughly enjoying it.  No one has got burned so far.  I gave all the fortune cookies to Trowa because he has to sing in this instalment Trowa looks up, alarmed.  Thanks for your review Lets PATTY and Jillian help themselves to whatever they want.

**Kawaii Kinomoto** – thanks for both of your reviews, I know some of my characters are messed up ^.^'' gives Kawaii Kinomoto some food

On with the story!

Be our guest 

Duo pressed his ear against the door and listened hard.  All sounded silent beyond the wood so Duo bit his lip and pushed the door open.  He stuck his head out into the hall and looked around.  He could see no one anywhere.

Behind some nearby curtains Trowa had hold of Quatre, the feather duster, in an intimate embrace.

"Oh no!" Quatre giggled as he half-heartedly struggled against Trowa's grasp.

"Oh yes!" Trowa purred as he pulled him closer.

"Oh no!" Quatre laughed again as he got free and came out from behind the curtain.

"Oh, yes, yes, yes," Trowa practically moaned as he reached for Quatre again.

"I've been 'burned' by you before," Quatre joked as Trowa grabbed hold of him again and bent him low.  Trowa chuckled as he looked over Quatre's head at some movement that had caught his eye.  He gasped and dropped Quatre, who squeaked.

"Damn it!" Trowa said under his breath as he watched Duo make his way down the stairs, "He's surfaced!"

Sally, Treize and Wufei were moving around the kitchen, finishing the clearing up from the failed dinner.

"You should go to bed," Sally said to Treize.  He looked at her incredulously.

"How old do you think I am?" he questioned with raised eyebrows, "I am not tired!"

Sally merely shrugged and carried on with what she was doing.  Treize rolled his eyes at her.

"I work and I slave all day long," the chef, who was a cooker, griped as he moved pots around on his surface, "and for what?  A culinary masterpiece, gone to waste!"

"Oh shut your pie hole," Sally admonished, "It's been a long night for all of us."

"Well, if you ask me, he was just being stubborn," Wufei said angrily as he threw a duster into one of the cupboards, "After all, Master Zechs did say please."

Sally would have shaken her head, if she had a head, but settled for a roll of her eyes.

"Yes, he did, but he did it in such a way it was very easy to say no to."

"That boy has no…"

"Justice," Sally and Treize finished in unison, which earned them an icy glare.

"If Master Zechs does not learn to control his temper, he'll never break the sp…" Sally was saying as Duo pushed the door to the kitchen open.

"Splendid to see you out and about young sir," Wufei cut in, quickly.  Duo knelt down in front of the clock, "I'm Wufei, I run the household," Wufei said as he attempted to take Duo's proffered hand.  Duo watched as this Wufei was shunted out of the way by a handsome candle.  The candle took his hand and smiled.

"This is Trowa," Wufei said unenthusiastically as Treize laughed in the background.

"Enchanté," Trowa said as he began to kiss Duo's hand enthusiastically.

Wufei was attempting to move Trowa out of the way so he could speak with Duo properly.

"If there's anything… stop that," he hissed as he moved Trowa away slightly, "we can do… please," he said in exasperation as he finally moved Trowa away and held him at bay, "to make your stay more comfortable?" He managed to finish.  Trowa glowered at him and burnt his hand.  Wufei cursed as he grabbed hold of his hand.  Duo laughed out loud at this display.

"Well, I am a little hungry," he confessed.  His stomach decided to give conformation of this by growling loudly.

"You are?" Sally said interestedly, she turned to several bowls and jars, "Here that?  He's hungry!  Stoke the fire, break out the sliver," millions of knives and forks jump out of the drawers, "Wake the china," Sally said to the silverware.

"Remember what Master Zechs said," Wufei said to her under his breath.

"Oh sod that!" she said as she turned her nose in the air.  She instructed some bowls and jars into action, who made a porridge dish, "I'm not about to let the poor child go hungry."

"Do you think everyone is under the age of ten?" Treize asked with fake interest.  Sally chose to ignore him.

"Oh all right then!" Wufei said irritably, "Glass of water crust of bread…"

"Wufei," Trowa scolded, "I'm surprised at you.  He's not a prisoner here, he's our guest."

"I think you have your definitions of guest and prisoner mixed up," Duo said sardonically, but smiled anyway.

"Follow me," Trowa said as he opened the door for Duo and allowed him to pass through.  

Wufei moved forward to speak to Trowa, "Fine, but keep it down," he advised, "If Master Zechs finds out about this, it will be our necks."

"Of course, of course," Trowa said dismissively, "but what is dinner, without a little music?"  He retreated through the door.

"Music!" Wufei screeched before the door hit him in the face and sent him flying, "INJUSTICE!" he screeched as he flew through the air and into one of the dishes.

Duo looked around the darkened room for some signs of life.

A spotlight lit up the table, illuminating Trowa, "Mon chèr monsieur," he said to Duo who moved forward to the edge of the table, "It is with deepest pride, and greatest pleasure, that we welcome you tonight."  He waved his matchstick, which he was using as a cane and his candle cap, which was his hat.

"So, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair," as Trowa said this, a chair came running up behind Duo and hit him in the back of the legs so that he had to sit down, "As the dining room proudly presents," Trowa carried on, "your dinner." 

Several platters of food jumped onto the table.

[Trowa:]   Be our guest

                Be our guest

                Put our service to the test

                Tie your napkin 'round your neck, chèrie Duo's chair tries to tie a napkin round his neck, but Duo takes the napkin and places it on his lap

                And we provide the rest

                Soup du jour

                Hot hors d'oeuvres

                Why, we only live to serve proffers a tray to Duo

                Try the grey stuff, it's delicious Duo sticks his finger in it and then tastes

                Don't believe me? Ask the dishes dishes burst out of cabinet and dance

                They can sing

                They can dance

                After all, friend, this is France cutlery and dishes make the Eiffel tower

                And a dinner here is never second best

                Go on, unfold your menu Duo picks up menu and looks through

                Take a glance and then you'll

                Be our guest

                Oui, our guest

                Be our guest Foods start to parade past Duo

                Beef ragout

                Cheese soufflé

                Pie and pudding "en flambé" Wufei sits up in pie as Trowa 'flambé's it.  He is burnt and he collapses back into the dish

                We'll prepare and serve with flair

                A culinary cabaret

                You're alone

                And you're scared

                But the banquet's all prepared

                No one's gloomy or complaining

                While the flatware's entertaining

                We tell jokes

                I do tricks

                With my fellow candlesticks is juggling his candles as he his lifted into the air

[Mugs:]         And it's all in perfect taste

                That you can bet

[All:]          Come on and lift your glass Mugs pass drink between themselves

                You've won your own free pass

                To be out guest

[Trowa:]      If you're stressed

                It's fine dining we suggest

[All:]          Be our guest Wufei runs long table shushing everyone

                Be our guest

                Be our guest Music stops abruptly, leaving Wufei alone on the table

[Trowa:]      Life is so unnerving

                For a servant who's not serving Wufei grins and tries to move off the table

                He's not whole without a soul to wait upon Trowa has hold of Wufei, who blows the candles out

                Ah, those good old days when we were useful It appears snow is falling.  Wufei looks and up and sees saltshakers, he looks annoyed

                Suddenly those good old days are gone Wufei groans

                Ten years we've been rusting

                Needing so much more than dusting

                Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills Wufei is trying to pull out of Trowa's grasp, succeeds and is sent flying

                Most days we just lay around the castle Wufei is stuck head first in some jelly

                Flabby, fat and lazy

                You walked in and oops-a-daisy! Trowa jumps on a spoon in the jelly and Wufei is sent flying again

[Sally:]    It's a guest

                It's a guest

                Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed

                Wine's been poured and thank the Lord watches bottles roll by

                I've had the napkins freshly pressed napkins dance around her

                With dessert

                He'll want tea

                And my dear that's fine with me

                While the cups do their soft shoeing cups are dancing around

                I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing

                I'll get warm is amidst lots of steaming pots

                Piping hot sees herself in surface of a pot

                Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?

                Clean it up! We want the company impressed napkin comes and cleans the spot

                We've got a lot to do Goes into the dining room on a tray with other pots and cups

                Is it one lump or two?

                For you, our guest? Pours tea into Treize, whom Duo picks up

[Chorus:]       He's our guest

[Sally:]    He's our guest Vases of flowers dance along the table, throwing petals everywhere, one stops and gives Duo a flower

[Chorus:]       He's our guest

                Be our guest

                Be our guest Wufei is trying to make everyone leave, but is knocked off the table by several feather dusters, led by Quatre, who are cleaning up the flower petals

                Our command is your request

                It's ten years since we had anybody here

                And we're obsessed

                With your meal

                With your ease

                Yes, indeed, we aim to please

                While the candlelight's still glowing candles do a Mexican wave to reveal Trowa at the end

                Let us help you

                We'll keep going

                Course by course Trowa is doing a slow can-can

                One by one

                'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"

                Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest Duo gasps as a big chandelier descends from the ceiling with forks can-caning on it

                Tonight you'll prop your feet up

                But for now, let's eat up

                Be our guest

                Be our guest Wufei is getting into the spirit of things

                Be our guest

                Please, be our guest Wine bottle corks fly out, wine spurts everywhere, Wufei is dancing in the middle of the table until Trowa slides into him, knocking him out of the way

"Yeah!" Duo yells as he claps vigorously, "That was FAN-bloody-TASTIC!  Do it again!"

"Thank you," Wufei said, bowing, as everyone else who wasn't a principle part clears out, "Thank you, yes, good show wasn't it?"

Some napkins that are moving past, stop, stare and shake their heads in disbelief.

"Oh my, look at the time," Wufei said, pointing at his face.  Duo snorted, trying not to laugh; "Now it's off to bed, off to bed."

"Oh I couldn't go to sleep now!" Duo said with a wide grin, "I've never been in an enchanted castle before."

Trowa moved beside Wufei as the clock started to seat, "Enchanted?  Who said anything about the castle being enchanted?" Wufei said quickly as he watched a fork run passed him.  His eyes went very wide, "You, button it!" he hissed at Trowa and grabbed hold of a piece of wax that fell over one of the candle's eyes and pulled.  Trowa struggled against him.  Duo raised an eyebrow and smiled some more.

"I, ah, figured it out myself," he said to the fighting objects.  Wufei let go of Trowa's wax and Trowa shoved him away and patted the wax back into place very carefully.

"I'd love to have a look around," Duo said as he looked around the room he was in at the moment.

"Perhaps you would like a tour?" Trowa said to Duo with a smile.

"Great!"  Duo enthused as he stood up.

"Do you think that's such a good idea?  He can't go poking around in _certain places_ if you know what I mean?" Wufei said out of the side of his mouth to Trowa.  Trowa stared at him, nonplussed.

"Wufei, I think the carpet knows what you mean," he said with a quick glance up to heaven.  Wufei glared at him.

Duo watched this little exchange and leant forward on the table, "Maybe you could show me around?" he asked Wufei, "I bet you know everything there is to know about the castle."  

Wufei looked flattered and mollified as Duo risked a look at Trowa, who gave him a thumbs up and a wink.

"Well…" Wufei said as he looked at the tabletop and smiled, "Yes, I do."

There!  I'm going to end it there I think.  Sorry if it was lame, but I should update again pretty soon 'cause my exams are over now, yay!

Until next time, ja-bye-bye!


	8. Escape

Hey there, here's the next bit for your amusement and pleasure removes a wayward kitten from the front of her jumper.  This bit should be longer than the last trips over a puppy and Duo… lands on her face.

As you can see we have some rather energetic animals with us today.

Wufei: You mean Duo? Gets hit by a flying kitten bomb (1) sent from Duo

Me: Yes, thanks to the wonderful PATTY and Jillian we have some puppies and kittens with us today, they are very adorable and I think the only time I've been glomped more was when I gave Duo his birthday present last year… but let's not get into that… it was a long day… Duo grins in the background and waves a kitten.  All right picks up kitten and strokes it time for the disclaimer, Sally, would you do the honours?

Sally: Looks up from playing with a puppy and smiles Sure. Stand up with puppy in her arms  Lucas does not own Gundam Wing or Disney, if you thought she did your obviously not the sharpest tack in the box.  This story is 6X2, that means it's yaoi, if you don't like that sort of thing, don't read this story, it's that simple.  All flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and then used on flamers. Looks stern until the puppy licks the screen

Me: The puppy kind of ruined the 'stern look' effect.  Never mind.

Duo: May I say something?

Me: Looks apprehensive All right.

Duo: Lifts up kitten and puts it in front of his face MEROW!  HISS!  MEET THE KITTY OF DEATH!

Me: stares blankly for a few minutes I knew that was a mistake.  Time to thank the wonderful people who take time to read this pile of waffle:

**gundam06serenity** – Thank you for the glomp ^_^  Glad you enjoyed the last chapter.  Thanks for your review gives gundam06serenity a puppy and a kitten to play with

**Yu~ki~ko** – That is a fab song, I agree.  Thanks for your review gives Yu~ki~ko a puppy and a kitten to play with

**Karina** – Thank you for your kind words and thanks for the review gives karina a puppy and a kitten to play with

**PATTY 40 and Jillian** – Thank you for the animals, they're so kawaii!  They also shut my cast up good and proper… ah… peace gets hit by a flying kitten bomb from Trowa.  Glares at the offending pilot who hides behind a puppy.  Removes the kitten from her face As to your request of Treize and Duo, I'll loan them to you at the end of this chapter, but I'll need them back before the next one.  Be gentle ^.~ Duo looks intrigued while Treize looks, well to tell you the truth, lecherous.

On with the story!

Escape 

Wufei was leading Duo along another corridor, which was lined with suits of armour.  Trowa and what Duo assumed was a dog, even though it was a footstool, were following as well.

"As you can see," Wufei began, "the pseudo-façade was stripped away to reveal a minimal rococo design.  Note the unusual, inverted, vaulted ceilings," he said as he directed Duo's attention upwards.  As Duo listened and walked along the corridor, the heads of the suits' of armour followed his progression down the corridor, though he didn't notice.

"This is yet another example of the late neo-classical Baroque period," Wufei said as he watched Duo walk past him, "And as I always say, if it's not Baroque, don't fic it."

Wufei chuckled to himself.

"Did you just attempt a joke?" Trowa asked incredulously as he sauntered past, Wufei merely glared at him.  He turned around abruptly and addressed the suits of armour, "As you were!" he hissed.  The heads suddenly faced forward again.

"Now if I could draw your attention to the flying buttresses…" Wufei began.  He looked up to see where his charge had gone to the vision of Duo staring up some stairs.  As Duo made to ascend them he was blocked suddenly by Wufei and Trowa crossed over in front of him.  He stared down at them and raised an eyebrow as the dog/footstool began running circles around him.

"What's up there?" he asked interestedly as he looked up the stairs.

"Nothing," Wufei said quickly, "There's nothing at all of interest in the West Wing he said quickly as Trowa was shaking his head, "Dusty, dull, very boring," Wufei said as he nudged Trowa in the ribs who then nodded in an affirming way.

"Busted!" Duo yelled at the surprised objects, he grinned widely, "So _that's_ the West Wing."

Wufei made a strangled noise in the base of his throat as Trowa snorted, "Nice going."

"I wonder what Fluffy's hiding up there?" Duo pondered as he made to move up the stairs, but was still obscured by Trowa and Wufei.  Trowa stifled his laughter.

"Master Zechs?" he questioned as he attempted to hide his amusement, "Master Zechs is hiding nothing."

"Then it wouldn't be forbidden," Duo reasoned as he moved past them and up the stairs.

"You took philosophy didn't you (2)?" Trowa asked as he and Wufei jumped in front of Duo once again.

"Perhaps you would like to see something else?" Wufei coaxed, "We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to…"

Duo raised an eyebrow and moved past them once more, "Maybe later," he said dismissively, eager to make it more than a metre up the stairs.  Wufei and Trowa moved again, determinedly blocking his path.

"The gardens," Trowa said desperately, searching for options, "Or the library, perhaps?"

Duo's eyes lit up, "You have a library?" he asked excitedly.  Wufei and Trowa's mouths dropped open in disbelief for a few seconds before they quickly recovered.

"Yes, yes," Wufei said hastily 

"With books," Trowa added, a little unnecessarily.

"Gads of books," Wufei added as they led Duo down the stairs.

"Mountains of books," Trowa said gleefully (An: O.o)

"Forests of books!" Wufei exclaimed as he, Trowa and the dog wandered down another corridor.  Duo was following but then his curiosity got the better of him.

"Cascades," Trowa was saying from ahead of Duo.  Duo bit his lip and turned back to the stairs.

"Fountains!" Wufei said excitedly.

"Swamps of books," Trowa continued as they walked off.

"More books than you could ever read in a lifetime," Wufei's voice was getting fainter, "Books on every subject ever written…"

Duo started up the stairs as the voices of his two guides faded away into the distance.  He wandered along a dank corridor; similar to the one he had traversed to get to his room.  After a short while of observing the less than reassuring décor, he came in front of a large door.  He stared at the beast-head shaped handles and bit his lip again.  After a moments hesitation he grabbed the handles and pulled the doors open.  A large room full of broken furniture was revealed to him and he was a little disappointed.  The way Zechs had gone on about not going in here he had expected sacrifices to the heathen gods, at the very least.  He moved further into the room, avoiding broken tables and chairs left, right and centre.  He was looking around when he knocked into a table, he gasped but caught it before it fell.  As he returned it to its upright position a flash of something caught his eye.  He turned around and inhaled sharply.  Blue.  Bright blue eyes staring at him.  He moved closer to the ripped portrait.  It was of a man with platinum blonde hair, long hair, and those beautiful eyes.  The rips obscured the rest of the portrait and Duo wanted to know what this man looked like.  He grabbed the torn pieces of canvas and lifted them, attempting to put them back into their rightful places.  Just as he was making a little progress another flash of light caught his eye.  He jumped and stared at the pink light.  It was coming from a rose that was underneath a glass bell jar.  Duo abandoned the picture of the handsome man and moved towards the table that the rose was sat upon.  As he got closer he could see that the rose was floating as well as glowing.  This could mean one of two things Duo reasoned.  Either the inside of the jar was a parallel dimension where gravity didn't exist, or the rose was enchanted.  As tempted as Duo was by the first theory, he thought the second was more in the vein of the castle… it being enchanted and all.  Duo stared at the rose, mesmerized until his curiosity got the better of him.  Taking hold of the bell jar, he gently lifted it up and over the rose and placed it next to a mirror, which happened to be on the table as well.  He stared at it for a short while before reaching out a tentative finger to touch it.  Before his digit could make contact, a noise startled him and he snatched his hand away.  He looked up to see the beast standing outside on a balcony, staring at him.  Duo jumped backwards with a small yell as Zechs leapt in, grabbed the bell jar and placed it over the rose.  He held his arms over it possessively and looked at Duo accusingly.  Duo backed away slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Zechs questioned in a low, menacing tone.

"I'm… sorry," Duo all but whispered.

"I warned you never to come here," Zechs said, his voice getting louder.

"I'm sorry," Duo said again.

"Do you realize what you could have done?" Zechs growled at him, baring his teeth.

Duo moved backwards behind a table, "I didn't mean any harm…"

"Get out!" Zechs roared as he smashed the table.  Duo moved backwards into a wardrobe.

"Stop it!" he cried desperately.

"GET OUT!" Zechs roared, louder.  Duo gasped and ran away from him out of the room as Zechs smashed the wardrobe.  Zechs watched Duo sprint from the room as his chest heaved with the effort of not screaming.  He watched the boy flee in fear and his face fell as his breathing returned to normal.  He groaned and dropped his face into his hands in disbelief and defeat.

Duo sprinted down the stairs and leapt over Trowa and Wufei, who were standing at the bottom.

"Where are you going?" Trowa asked as Duo grabbed his cloak and threw it over his shoulders.

"Promise or no promise," Duo bit out, "I can't stay here another minute."

"Oh please," Wufei pleaded, "Please wait."

Duo shut the door quickly and sprinted towards the gate, where Deathscythe was waiting impatiently.  He wrenched the doors open and leapt onto the horse's back.  Deathscythe, who was desperate to get away, bolted and Duo let him.  He clung on for dear life as the horse sprinted through the forest, away from the castle.  As Deathscythe ran, he disturbed a ground nest and birds swarmed up and around him.  This frightened the horse and he nearly threw Duo off.  Duo struggled back into the saddle properly, only to see a large group of wolves slowly surrounding them.

Duo groaned, "Pants," he said as he pulled on the reigns and made Deathscythe run as fast as he could.  The wolves were closing in, so Duo did some fancy reign work and made his horse run one of them into a tree.  Glancing back over his shoulder, Duo did not notice the lake until he plunged into its icy depths.  He gasped and manoeuvred Deathscythe through the water, the wolves close behind, snapping at him.  He continued to urge the horse on but there were wolves everywhere.  Deathscythe panicked and threw Duo off of him and at the same time managed to get his reigns caught around a tree.  Duo struggled to sit up in the snow; his long hair had come loose from its braid and was flying about his face.  The wolves were jumping at Deathscythe and Duo defended the horse with a big stick while he struggled to free the reigns but the wolves were already back, circling and growling.  One of them appeared to be licking its lips, which Duo thought was odd, but decided the immediate danger to his life was more important.  He shook the stick about wildly, trying to scare off the wolves, but it only seemed to bait them more.  One of them bit the end of the stick and broke it.  Duo cursed softly then screamed as a wolf jumped at him, grabbing his cloak and dragging him down into the snow.  Duo pulled at the cloth, trying to free himself.  He stared at the wolves that surrounded him with wide eyes; there was nothing he could do.  The wolf that had grabbed his cloak lunged, and Duo closed his eyes and waited fro the impact.  It never came and as he opened his eyes he saw Zechs with the wolf in his arms.  Zechs roared loudly and threw the wolf to the side.  As he crouched over Duo protectively, he glared at the wolves and growled low in his throat, then launched himself into the fray.  Duo watched as Zechs fought with the wolves fiercely.  He gasped and groaned in all the dramatic places, such as when Zechs was bitten on the neck and scratched on the arm.  Eventually, Zechs was victorious and the remaining wolves retreated.  Duo stared at Zechs who stared right back before collapsing, unconscious.  Duo turned away and grabbed hold of Deathscythe's saddle, about to climb on.  He waited for his body to kick in, but it wouldn't and, sighing, he turned around and looked at the fallen Zechs.  He let go of the saddle and moved over to Zechs, kneeling beside him in the snow.  He reached out his hand to touch him, but retracted quickly.  He sighed, pulling off his cloak, placing it around the beast's shoulders.  He may have appeared slight, but Duo was strong, lifting the beast and carrying him over to Deathscythe and placing him on the saddle.  He untied Deathscythe's reigns and led them all back to the castle.

Zechs sat in his large chair in front of the fireplace, licking the wound on his arm as Duo used Sally to pour hot water into a bowl.  Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, Treize and the dog/footstool were there, watching in fear and intrigue.  Duo put a soft cloth in the water.  He wrung it out and then looked at Zechs.

"Here," he said gently as he scooted forward to the chair.  Zechs continued to lick the deep scratch.

"Don't do that," Duo urged as he touched Zechs' arm.  Zechs glared at him, moving his arm slightly further away.

"Just hold still," Duo said as he attempted to press the cloth to the cut.  Zechs was moving his arm away evasively but Duo managed to get the cloth onto the damage.  Zechs roared in pain and Duo quickly removed the cloth.

"THAT HURT!" he yelled, making Duo's loose hair fly backwards.  His servants jumped in fright and hid behind another chair.

"If you'd hold still it wouldn't hurt as much," Duo retaliated.

"If you hadn't run away, this wouldn't have happened," Zechs said with a smirk, pointing at his arm.

"If you hadn't frightened me I wouldn't have run away," Duo said defensively.  Zechs seemed at a loss for a few seconds before his face lit up.

"Well _you_ shouldn't have been in the West Wing," he said triumphantly, thinking he'd won the argument.

"Well _you_ should learn to control your temper," Duo said fiercely, crossing his arms.  Zechs pouted and put his chin in his hand, turning his face away from Duo and sulking.  His servants began edging out from behind the chair, sensing the fight to be over.

"Now," Duo said, breathing deeply.  He lifted the cloth again, "This might sting a little," he said.  Zechs looked up in alarm and winced theatrically as Duo placed the cloth over the wound.  Duo looked up at him and smiled, shaking his head.  He continued to clean the wound.

"By the way," Duo said, "Thank you, for saving my life."  He looked up into Zechs' eyes and smiled.  Zechs looked back, his expression softening.

"You're welcome," he said quietly as he watched Duo clean his cuts.

TA DA!!  That took me so long to write that I thought I was going to cry!  Here Patty gives PATTY Treize and Duo Take good care of them, and remember to give them back before the next chapter ^_^

(1) A kitten bomb (or a cat bomb) is when you launch the aforementioned animal at someone.  This generally works best when done at a run ^.^

(2) This bit is a running joke between some friends and I.  Philosophy is the art of winning any argument by being annoying and vague.  I like to call it the art of bullsh*tting.


	9. Something there

[Dies] Oh my god, it's been… so… long… [is glared at by everyone who was reading this story, despite the author's lack of talent]

I know, I know. I'm so sorry! Stuff started happening and it all went crazy [is aware that no one cares for her lame excuses] ::le sigh:: Ah well, on with the story.

For unknown reasons "this site" (I can't write it's name) is no longer allowing the use of underscores, squiggly hyphen things or those arrow-head type symbols that are above the comma and full-stop, as well as various others (they call then non-keyboard related characters, or something… whatever that means), so this chapter will be different from the rest… which sucks. Also, if any of my wonderful reviewers have these symbols in their names, they won't show up, I'm very sorry, but blame "this site", not me. Now, on with the story… again…

Trowa: Are you sure you can handle that?

Me: Shut up unibang [glares in the way Heero taught her]

Heero: I'm so proud.

Me: I know when you're being sarcastic Heero… even though there is no change in the tone of your voice, or your expression… I still know.

Duo: [gasps] My god! She has evil powers!

Me: Yes, but that's beside the point.

Wufei: Can we just get on with this.

Me: You better be nice to me Wuffy, you're going with Jillian at the end of this, and she's been waiting a long, long time for you and if you're not careful I won't tell her to be gentle with you.

Wufei: EEP!

Me: Damn straight.

Duo: Don't worry, Waffles, it was fun!

Me: OOO! Do tell [Duo whispers in author's ear and she ooos and ahs and gasps] Jillian! My, my! Anyway, PATTY and Jillian were kind enough, after chapter 8 to give me chocolate hearts and sweet chocolate kisses for everyone who reviewed. And because it's been such a long time, I'm going to give everyone who reads this a cookie. But first, the disclaimer, umm… who hasn't done it? Noin, will you do the honours?

Noin: [lifts her head from the box full of chocolate] Sure, but can I have one of these first? [Lifts a chocolate heart]

Me: Sure.

Noin: [eats heart] Mmm, tasty. Anyway, Lucas does not own Gundam Wing or Disney. There have been many reasonings behind this in previous chapters, pick your favourite and repeat it here. This story is 6X2; this means that it's yaoi, shounen-ai at the very least. This is boy on boy action people, that's right, if this does not float your boat, please don't read this and then get mad at Lucas and flame her, for it's pointless. All flames will be used in the ultimate weapon of destruction and then used on flamers.

Zechs: By Duo no less.

Duo: [grins in the way that only the true crazies can] I AM SHINIGAMI!

Quatre: Hush, it's time to thank the patient reviewers.

Me: That's right. Here's a huge thank you to all those who have managed to survive the longest gap between updates ever:

**gundam06serenity** – Thanks for review, hopefully you'll review again [gives gundam06serenity a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**karina**– Gomen nasai! It's been so long. Thanks for your review anyway [gives karina a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**PATTY 40 and Jillian **– Gomen nasai, gomen nasai! Thank you for your gifts and your review and returning Treize and Duo in one piece. Jillian may take Wufei at the end of this chapter [whispers] do what you like with him [grins]

Wufei: I heard that onna! You will pay!

Anyway, thanks for the review, it was much appreciated. [gives PATTY and Jillian a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie each]

**ZephyrGundam**– Thanks for your review and your box of desserts… Duo ate them all, and I mean all of them… and was somehow not sick, but I digress. Thanks so much, hope you'll still be reading [gives ZephyrGundam a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**BabyTraci** – Thanks for your review! [gives BabyTraci a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Yukiko**– I have refrained from giving myself a round of applause and a pat on the back as I am a lame updater. Though Heero did give me beats for it… that hurt [Heero waves] Anyway, thanks for your review [gives Yukiko a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**The Chaotic Ones **– Sorry it's been so long and thanks for your review (I like BSing too .) [gives The Chaotic Ones a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Soulfulbee**– Glad you liked the story and thanks for your review [gives Soulfulbee a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Celace** – I know it's been eons since I updated, forgive me! Thanks for your review [gives Celace a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Kikyobashergirl**– Glad you enjoyed my story! Thanks for your review [gives Kikyobashergirl a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Jou**– I've finally updated! Anyway thanks for your review [gives Jou a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Leanne-Marie-Malfoy** - Sorry it's been ages, I'm pants, I know [gives Leanne-Marie-Malfoy a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**Black-Ice Maiden** – Hope you haven't waited too long for this chapter [gives Black-Ice Maiden a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

**genni**** – **Thanks for your comments, I'll try to make it more original (though if this chapter isn't I'm sorry, but I got your review after I finished writing the chapter) [gives genni a chocolate heart and kiss and a cookie]

Finally, on with the story!

**Something there…**

From the outside, Heero's tavern looked dark and deserted. However, inside, evil plans were being… well… planned. Heero and Relena were sat around a table with a third, mysterious stranger.

"I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night," Dorothy said, raising one of her freaky eyebrows, "but I was told you would make it worth my while."

Heero reached into his pocket and threw a bag of gold and a push pop (1) onto the table.

"Ah," Dorothy said twirling her eyebrow round her finger whilst she examined the push pop, "Strawberry and bubblegum, I'm listening."

"It's like this see," Heero said, leaning forward so his low voice could be heard, "I've got my heart set on marrying Duo…"

"Isn't Duo a bloke?" Dorothy questioned removing the push pop from her mouth.

"Shut up and eat your push pop," Heero said irritably.

"It's just, he needs a little… persuasion," Heero said, waving his hands vaguely.

Relena lifted her mug of beer jovially, "Turned him down flat!"

Heero smacked her in the back of the head knocking her face into the mug.

"Everyone knows his Professor's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle," Heero said, folding his arms, whilst Relena attempted to extract the lower part of her face from the mug.

"G is harmless," Dorothy said, leaning pack in her chair and sucking on the push pop.

"The point is," Heero continued, "Duo would do anything to keep him from being locked up."

Relena managed to remove her face in time to say, "Yeah, even marry him."

Heero raised his arm again to smack her, but she put the mug and the remaining beer in it, onto her head so he lowered his arm.

"So, you want me to throw the Professor into the asylum, unless she agrees to marry you?" Dorothy said musingly. Heero and Relena both nodded.

"Oh that is despicable," Dorothy said with a shake of her head, "I love it!"

Meanwhile, in the Professor's house, G was muttering wildly to himself and gathering several things together.

"If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Let's see if I'll help them when their random prodigies get stolen by equally random monsters. Now, is that everything?" he said out loud as he rummaged in several drawers taking out maps and a scarf and various other things that were likely not to help him.

"I'll find that castle," he said as he opened the door, "and somehow I'll get him out of there."

And with that he exited the building and walked away, towards the forest.

Several seconds later saw the unlikely threesome from the tavern arrive at the Professor's house. Three loud raps on the door were enough for Heero before he burst in anyway, Relena behind him.

"Duo? Professor G?" Heero called out. He waited three seconds before deciding that they were not home.

"Oh well," Relena said, turning to leave, "I guess it's not going to work after all."

"They have to come back sometime," Heero said, grabbing her collar from behind and dragging her down the stairs, "and when they do we'll be ready for them."

He lifted her and looked her in the eye, "Relena," he said before dropping her into a large pile of snow, "Do not move from this spot until Duo and the Professor come home."

With that he jumped on the back of the asylum cart and rode off.

"But… but…" Relena said from her spot as she watched them disappear, "Crap," she said dejectedly before thumping the stairs and knocking a whole bunch of snow, and a rock, on top of her.

Zechs watched Duo in the snow covered garden from the balcony with Trowa and Wufei. Duo was wandering the garden with Deathscythe. The horse, sensing his master's slightly depressed air, nudged Duo in the shoulder as a sign of comfort… a little harder than intended.

"Eep!" Duo managed before falling face down in the snow. Zechs stifled his laughter; he did not want Duo to know that he was watching. This made him feel a little like a stalker, but he ignored the thought and carried on watching. Duo sat up and mock glared at the horse. He threw a little snow at Deathscythe, laughing, then stood up. The dog/footstool came running out into the garden, barking and yapping. It sped right past Duo and into a large drift of snow. Duo raised his eyebrow at the random furniture. The dog/footstool, removed itself from the drift and bounded straight at Duo.

Duo managed a quick "Ack!" before he was bowled over by the dog.

"It's a conspiracy!" he wailed as he stroked what he assumed to be the dog's head, at least, he hoped it was the dog's head.

Zechs sighed as he watched Duo chase the dog around the garden. He laid his hand on the arm that Duo had bandaged for him.

"I've never felt this way about anyone," he said quietly. Trowa snorted, earning him a glare.

"Sorry Master Zechs," Trowa said, stifling his mirth.

"I want to do something for him," Zechs said decisively, before his face fell in confusion, "but what?"

Wufei regarded him, "Well there's the usual, flowers, chocolates… promises you don't intend to keep," he recited counting the things off on his would-be fingers.

"No," Trowa said, nudging Wufei in the side, "it's got to be something special, something that sparks his interest… wait a minute!" he said brightly as an idea struck him just before Wufei did.

"Duo, I've got something I want to show you," Zechs said as he led them to some large doors. He began to open them before he quickly shut them again. Duo raised an eyebrow, "but first, you have to close your eyes," Zechs finished.

"Oh no," Duo said with a smirk waving his finger under Zech's nose, "I've fallen for this one before."

"What?" Zechs asked, looking at him like he'd just sprouted another head.

Duo's eyes went really wide before he muttered, "Nothing!" and promptly shut his eyes as instructed. Zechs shook his head and then waved his hand in front of Duo's eyes to make sure he really couldn't see. With a wide smile, he opened the doors, grasped Duo's hands and pulled him inside the room. He led him into the middle of the room before letting go of Duo.

"Can I open them?" Duo asked.

"No, no, not yet," Zechs said as he hurried to some curtains.

"You're not going to be naked when I open my eyes are you?" Duo asked a little nervously.

"What!?" Zechs asked, turning to stare at Duo incredulously.

"Nothing!" Duo squeaked, going a little red. Zechs turned back to the curtains and pulled them open. Flooding the room with light, Duo smiled as he felt the warmth of the sun on his face.

"Now can I open them?" he asked tentatively.

"Alright," Zechs said gently, pausing for a moment before looking around, "now."

Duo opened his eyes and gasped. There were books everywhere, wall to wall. There were even books along the top of the fireplace.

"I've never seen so many books in all my life," Duo breathed as he span around taking in everything about the room.

"You like it then," Zechs asked eagerly.

"It's wonderful!" he said as he turned to Zechs and smiled.

"Then it's yours," Zechs said, smiling too.

Duo gasped and put his hands over his mouth in disbelief.

"Thank you so much," he all but whispered and grasped Zechs' hands in his.

From the doorway, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and Sally watched this scene. Treize was there too but couldn't see because they were all in the way.

"Would you look at that?" Sally said, excited.

"I knew it would work!" Trowa said, triumphantly.

"What worked?" Treize asked, attempting to see past his taller compatriots.

"It's very encouraging," Wufei said with a smile, starting to usher everyone away.

"Isn't this exciting?" Quatre squeaked as he bustled away.

"What?" Treize asked as he went past.

"Come on Treize, there's things to be done in the kitchen," Sally said as she moved away.

"I didn't see anything!" Treize wailed, "You were all in the way! Come on Sally tell me!" he screeched as he followed the teapot down the hallway.

Days later saw the unlikely couple eating breakfast together. Porridge was brought to the table by Sally and Treize, who were on hand to provide those who needed tea, with, surprisingly enough, tea. Milk and sugar were poured into Duo's bowl by the jugs and he smiled gratefully. He picked up the spoon and took a delicate bite, smiling. He looked up and nearly choked as he saw Zechs, face buried in his food. Zechs caught Duo's eye and looked up, slightly alarmed. Sally and Treize winced and glanced at Duo to see his reaction. Both were surprised to see he was grinning. He gave Zechs the thumbs up, lifted his bowl and buried his own face in the porridge, eating noisily. Zechs also grinned and continued eating. Sally looked horrified and Treize laughed out loud, earning him a sharp glare from the offended teapot.

Later that day, they were in the garden, feeding the birds. Duo had the seed in his shirt (AN: stop sniggering you lot, I know what you're thinking), which he was using as a makeshift basket. He put a little into Zechs hands and urged him to give some to the birds that were gathered nearby. Zechs crouched down and shuffled slowly towards the birds. When he was near enough he thrust out his hands enthusiastically, causing the birds to fly up into the air around Duo… unfortunately one got caught in his hair. After much screaming and flailing, the bird was finally released from Duo's mane and it flew away. Duo shook his head and sighed. He put some more seed into Zechs hand and spread a little out on the ground. Most of the now returned birds flew away, except one. It pecked on the small trail of seeds, before jumping into Zechs' outstretched hands and eating the seeds there. Zechs' face lit up as he watched the little bird. He smiled at Duo who placed a hand on his shoulder warmly before standing up.

[Duo:] There's something sweet  
And almost kind {smiles}  
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined  
And now he's dear  
And so I'm sure { he watches Zechs}  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before [Zechs:] She glanced this way  
I thought I saw  
And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw  
No it can't be {makes sulky face}  
I'll just ignore  
But then she's never looked at me that way before {Looks intrigued as Duo wanders behind a tree} [Duo:] New and a bit alarming {clutches at chest}  
Who'd have ever thought that this could be?  
True that he's no Prince Charming {Laughs as he sees Zechs covered with birds}  
But there's something in him that I simply didn't see {Throws snowball at him and then they engage in a snowball fight} [Trowa:] Well, who'd have thought? {All watching from inside}  
[Sally:] Well, bless my soul  
[Wufei:] Well, who'd have known?  
[Sally:] Well, who indeed?  
[Trowa:] And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?  
[Sally:] It's so peculiar. Wait and see  
[Trowa and Wufei:] We'll wait and see  
[All three:] A few days more  
There may be something there that wasn't there before {Treize is looking at them like they're all idiots}  
[Wufei:] You know, perhaps there's something there that wasn't  
there before

[Treize:] I refuse to say anything…  
[Sally:] There may be something there that wasn't there before

[Treize:] I'm not going to bite.

[Sally:] Go on Treize, just say it…

[Treize:] I'm not going to ask that stupid question, I know what you see that's there, that 'wasn't there before', so don't start with me {stalks off with Sally chasing after him, followed by everyone else}

ARGH! Finally done. I'm so sorry everyone, I just hope you have all come back to read this chapter as it finally makes its appearance.

Here Jillian, take Wufei and have your wicked way with him [gives Jillian Wufei, who mutters many a death threat in Chinese at the author]

Until next time all, whenever that may be… [dodges the many weapons that fly in her direction from the angry, and quite rightly so, audience]

(1) I'm sure you all know what a push pop is, but just for giggles, a push pop is a lolly that you don't have to eat all at once, 'cause it comes in a special container that you can push it out of and put it back into, hence its name, savvy? Weird ne?


End file.
